As an internet nerd once said-
OMGSTFU
---
In other news-
The estimate for my eyes to get better was moved from last week to sometime between sort of soon and not soon at all.
On the JET front, it is about an hour before "early April" begins and the result will finally arrive. What will it be? Well, I guess if a real straightforward hurray blog gets posted, I got a yes, and if I post something really ambiguous, then it's probably a no.
Psssh, I'm making fun of myself now.
On the subject of my randomly freezing computer (AIM especially), I defragged my computer today, cleaned the disk, and did a few other things that I thought would fix the problems I've been having.
No luck. I got bored and finally gave into hanging out on Meebo this evening.
It's so hard to keep track of chats while doing other things though.
Krystina? Bethany? (Danny? -although I'm sure he forgot about this blog again), it would be good to meet you guys on Stickam sometime soon.
This weekend would've been good for something like that because it's not only a three weekend, but it's also the first time in a while I've been able to not fret so much about schoolwork. This is sort of both a good thing AND a bad thing. The good is that I can finally relax a little. The bad is that I am so used to being stressed these days that relaxing is kind of nervewrecking... and also having little to do gives me more time to worry about JET results and other things.
Anyway, my moods pretty good now. Meebo sucks, but I'm glad to be talking to people without my conversations suddenly freezing.
Tomorrow's my mom's birthday- that should REALLY be more important at the moment than the JET result.
Which, by the way, isn't going to come any quicker if I'm freaking out about it.
Alright, going to switch attention back to chats now.
March 31, 2008
March 28, 2008
Ick
So I felt pretty icky health-wise today. I woke up feeling just fine except for a sore throat (but that bothered me yesterday, too.) I went exercising with my mom and then had a relatively bigger breakfast.
Only to end up throwing it up again.
Yeah, I know, people don't really appreciate hearing these things.
I remember a long time ago writing a blog on Livejournal about having been stuck in an awkward conversation in which I felt like I had to tell someone about having lost what I had eaten. I remember asking my current commenters if they can think of... how did I word it??? Oh! I asked if they could think of "a socially acceptable way to say you threw up." It's not a quote- it just sounds familiar. I got some humorous answers, but yeah, I'm pretty sure there aren't any.
Back on the topic---
At first I thought that I was just nervous about my presentation I had to do today, but it felt so different than my stress stomach aches. Stress stomach aches are uncomfortable, but I don't feel like I'm actually going to throw up. Much of today, I didn't exactly have pain, but I just sort of felt like I was going to throw up anyway.
Again, I don't know why anyone who happens to read this needs to know that.
Also, My throat felt worse and my face felt unbearably hot.
Anyway, I did my presentation anyway and I didn't it went pretty okay despite the fact I felt pretty much at my worst of the day at the time. It was right after I lost my breakfast and I hadn't gathered the nerve to try to eat anything else yet.
I don't really get sick very often, so I wonder if it's stress. April is in just a matter of days, after all. In just a matter of days (thereabouts) I'm going to finally hear the JET outcome.
It's kind of crazy to think the idea that something I wanted to achieve for so long could've been ruined by some silly mistake I made in just a few minutes during the interview.
I've wanted so long to become the kind of person they would want to hire. I can't help it- it just kills (dramatic wording) me to think that I could possibly be less than I need to be for something I want to achieve.
It's scary to think about.
I'm being negative and thinking of things that might not even apply to the situation.
However---
People have still been showing so much confidence in me. The last thing I want in the world is to prove to them that they're wrong. I know, dramatic wording again- but I'm pretty sure it's true this time.
I don't feel like I'm writing very well at the moment. I think I'm sleepy. Not to mention that my mind gets a little fuzzy when I'm not feeling well. Hard to focus.
G'niiight.
Only to end up throwing it up again.
Yeah, I know, people don't really appreciate hearing these things.
I remember a long time ago writing a blog on Livejournal about having been stuck in an awkward conversation in which I felt like I had to tell someone about having lost what I had eaten. I remember asking my current commenters if they can think of... how did I word it??? Oh! I asked if they could think of "a socially acceptable way to say you threw up." It's not a quote- it just sounds familiar. I got some humorous answers, but yeah, I'm pretty sure there aren't any.
Back on the topic---
At first I thought that I was just nervous about my presentation I had to do today, but it felt so different than my stress stomach aches. Stress stomach aches are uncomfortable, but I don't feel like I'm actually going to throw up. Much of today, I didn't exactly have pain, but I just sort of felt like I was going to throw up anyway.
Again, I don't know why anyone who happens to read this needs to know that.
Also, My throat felt worse and my face felt unbearably hot.
Anyway, I did my presentation anyway and I didn't it went pretty okay despite the fact I felt pretty much at my worst of the day at the time. It was right after I lost my breakfast and I hadn't gathered the nerve to try to eat anything else yet.
I don't really get sick very often, so I wonder if it's stress. April is in just a matter of days, after all. In just a matter of days (thereabouts) I'm going to finally hear the JET outcome.
It's kind of crazy to think the idea that something I wanted to achieve for so long could've been ruined by some silly mistake I made in just a few minutes during the interview.
I've wanted so long to become the kind of person they would want to hire. I can't help it- it just kills (dramatic wording) me to think that I could possibly be less than I need to be for something I want to achieve.
It's scary to think about.
I'm being negative and thinking of things that might not even apply to the situation.
However---
People have still been showing so much confidence in me. The last thing I want in the world is to prove to them that they're wrong. I know, dramatic wording again- but I'm pretty sure it's true this time.
I don't feel like I'm writing very well at the moment. I think I'm sleepy. Not to mention that my mind gets a little fuzzy when I'm not feeling well. Hard to focus.
G'niiight.
March 25, 2008
BREATHE!
Yesterday, I was exercising with my mom and she was reminding me to breathe while on the machines. It was true that on the 30 second intervals in which I was on any particular machine, I was, for the most part, holding my breath.
I'm not sure why, though. But even when I was in high school, I would sort of hold on my breath while walking between classes.
So yesterday I was thinking a lot about when to inhale and when to exhale. It kind of ruined my concentration.
Today, I was reading my script for my capstone midterm which I have to present on Friday. It was very difficult to read because many of the sentences in my script didn't seem to have a place in it to pause for a breath. The way I was reading was kind of awkward, I guess, because I didn't know when I was supposed to breathe. So then later I sat down with Yoriko-san and she read through my paper with me and put in commas where I should pause for breath.
The more I think about it, the more true it is- I really do need to learn how to breathe.
Anyway, today was pretty awesome.
I found more good tea!
Yeah, you know how I am about tea. :D
I'm not sure why, though. But even when I was in high school, I would sort of hold on my breath while walking between classes.
So yesterday I was thinking a lot about when to inhale and when to exhale. It kind of ruined my concentration.
Today, I was reading my script for my capstone midterm which I have to present on Friday. It was very difficult to read because many of the sentences in my script didn't seem to have a place in it to pause for a breath. The way I was reading was kind of awkward, I guess, because I didn't know when I was supposed to breathe. So then later I sat down with Yoriko-san and she read through my paper with me and put in commas where I should pause for breath.
The more I think about it, the more true it is- I really do need to learn how to breathe.
Anyway, today was pretty awesome.
I found more good tea!
Yeah, you know how I am about tea. :D
Younger sibling syndrome and Winchester???
To many people, when I say this they think it refers to my voice getting loud and somewhat whiny when I'm picked on.
Well, maybe not "many people." At least YuFei because he's tested that one enough times.
This is true.
There's quite a lot more to this, though.
Like for one thing I can really relate to how it is to be the smaller one. Yesterday (Easter), mom, David, and I went to an easter party of David family. The kids were very energetic, of course, and I ended up playing with them quite a bit. One family has two adorable little blond girls, Olivia (6) and Katie (4). At one point I was playing "keep away" with Olivia. Obviously, I'm a lot taller than she is, so it was quite easy for me to keep the ball from her without much effort. But, after a while I'd "accidentally" drop the ball and let her get it.
It kind of made me remember all of the times my brother would play that game with me- only he usually wouldn't "accidentally" let me have the ball. The game would usually drag on until I was too tired or bored to continue trying.
I guess it's because I understand it is to be smaller than someone so much in that kind of situation that I know that the game is much more fun if I lose sometimes.
When I was younger and I would visit friends houses and they had younger siblings, they would usually get annoyed me because I would sympathize with their younger siblings and side with them if a conflict rose.
Yeeeeah... they didn't like that much.
Come to think of it- most of my friends that I've made in more recent times are the only child of their families.
I said most, Krystina. Don't panic, alright?
We're okay? Okay.
:)
Anyway, I don't think that's the reason why because I've come to realize that I spent a good amount of my life to that point using the "young sibling" card to get people to side with me.
It's true, it's part of the deal, you know?
Like when you're a toddler and your older sibling picks on you. You can end it by yelling because the parents usually want the noise to stop and they'll go for the indirect source rather than the direct one.
It's not bad- just the common dynamic.
Thinking about that, though, reminds me somewhat of how when I'm hanging out with Danny and Bethany, I would bait Danny into saying something mean to Bethany (although bait really isn't so necessary) and watch amused as he would get all the blame for it. (Well, it's sort of a running gag for us, actually.)
Where was I going with this? I had a direction but then it was lost within a lot of... subtopics. Geeze.
See, everyone? This is why you don't want to take a trip into my mind. If I'm the tour guide we'd be lost within minutes. I'm not saying there's a lot of content or capacity in there (although I suppose there's a reasonable amount), but there is a lot of confusing maze like hallways and trap doors. I guess my mind is like the Winchester Mystery House.
You know, that house that the crazy lady kept building new parts to because some spirits told her to?
(The story is SOMETHING like that.)
There's a lot of crazy things in that house. For example, in the second story, there's a doorway that leads to a two story fall into the garden. In short, Winchester is a good place to watch your step. And to remember your steps to (I mean so that you don't get lost.)
Hm, once I give into the random-ness of my mind, well, this is what you get.
I JUST remembered what I was going to talk when I first thought I'd write a blog this evening (no, and it wasn't about being a younger sibling- I changed it when I couldn't remember the first idea.)
Sigh.
Well, I'll summarize what I was going to say into one word:
Dilophosaurus.
:)
Well, that's all, Julia needs sleep. (Can you tell?)
Well, maybe not "many people." At least YuFei because he's tested that one enough times.
This is true.
There's quite a lot more to this, though.
Like for one thing I can really relate to how it is to be the smaller one. Yesterday (Easter), mom, David, and I went to an easter party of David family. The kids were very energetic, of course, and I ended up playing with them quite a bit. One family has two adorable little blond girls, Olivia (6) and Katie (4). At one point I was playing "keep away" with Olivia. Obviously, I'm a lot taller than she is, so it was quite easy for me to keep the ball from her without much effort. But, after a while I'd "accidentally" drop the ball and let her get it.
It kind of made me remember all of the times my brother would play that game with me- only he usually wouldn't "accidentally" let me have the ball. The game would usually drag on until I was too tired or bored to continue trying.
I guess it's because I understand it is to be smaller than someone so much in that kind of situation that I know that the game is much more fun if I lose sometimes.
When I was younger and I would visit friends houses and they had younger siblings, they would usually get annoyed me because I would sympathize with their younger siblings and side with them if a conflict rose.
Yeeeeah... they didn't like that much.
Come to think of it- most of my friends that I've made in more recent times are the only child of their families.
I said most, Krystina. Don't panic, alright?
We're okay? Okay.
:)
Anyway, I don't think that's the reason why because I've come to realize that I spent a good amount of my life to that point using the "young sibling" card to get people to side with me.
It's true, it's part of the deal, you know?
Like when you're a toddler and your older sibling picks on you. You can end it by yelling because the parents usually want the noise to stop and they'll go for the indirect source rather than the direct one.
It's not bad- just the common dynamic.
Thinking about that, though, reminds me somewhat of how when I'm hanging out with Danny and Bethany, I would bait Danny into saying something mean to Bethany (although bait really isn't so necessary) and watch amused as he would get all the blame for it. (Well, it's sort of a running gag for us, actually.)
Where was I going with this? I had a direction but then it was lost within a lot of... subtopics. Geeze.
See, everyone? This is why you don't want to take a trip into my mind. If I'm the tour guide we'd be lost within minutes. I'm not saying there's a lot of content or capacity in there (although I suppose there's a reasonable amount), but there is a lot of confusing maze like hallways and trap doors. I guess my mind is like the Winchester Mystery House.
You know, that house that the crazy lady kept building new parts to because some spirits told her to?
(The story is SOMETHING like that.)
There's a lot of crazy things in that house. For example, in the second story, there's a doorway that leads to a two story fall into the garden. In short, Winchester is a good place to watch your step. And to remember your steps to (I mean so that you don't get lost.)
Hm, once I give into the random-ness of my mind, well, this is what you get.
I JUST remembered what I was going to talk when I first thought I'd write a blog this evening (no, and it wasn't about being a younger sibling- I changed it when I couldn't remember the first idea.)
Sigh.
Well, I'll summarize what I was going to say into one word:
Dilophosaurus.
:)
Well, that's all, Julia needs sleep. (Can you tell?)
March 23, 2008
Easter post
Happy Easter, everyone.
I just took what I hope will be my last dose of eyedrops in all of that madness. I'll know for sure on Friday.
I have a lot to say, but I suppose I always do once I get a train of thought going. I've been writing blogs in my head a lot lately but, as you can see, they haven't quite been getting to this stage.
I'll spare you some time today.
:)
I just took what I hope will be my last dose of eyedrops in all of that madness. I'll know for sure on Friday.
I have a lot to say, but I suppose I always do once I get a train of thought going. I've been writing blogs in my head a lot lately but, as you can see, they haven't quite been getting to this stage.
I'll spare you some time today.
:)
March 21, 2008
You're old!
People who are getting into good lifelong careers are your age.
People your age are getting awards not meant for children, but on an adult level.
If you get your blood drawn for testing, the person who draws it might not be a day older than you are.
You put on a nice shirt, pants, and heels and you drive to work getting annoying at slow drivers.
REAL job interviews.
Bills?!?!
You finally understand that the extent to which you were so young a few years ago although at the moment you would have completely denied it.
Mentality is so different than it was a few years ago.
It's not like you're super serious, it's just different. Not bad, not good. Probably actually more on the good side.
The mindset of a twenty-something.
Isn't it amazing?
When exactly did we get here?
People your age are getting awards not meant for children, but on an adult level.
If you get your blood drawn for testing, the person who draws it might not be a day older than you are.
You put on a nice shirt, pants, and heels and you drive to work getting annoying at slow drivers.
REAL job interviews.
Bills?!?!
You finally understand that the extent to which you were so young a few years ago although at the moment you would have completely denied it.
Mentality is so different than it was a few years ago.
It's not like you're super serious, it's just different. Not bad, not good. Probably actually more on the good side.
The mindset of a twenty-something.
Isn't it amazing?
When exactly did we get here?
March 18, 2008
Spring break?
I guess it is. That's what my calendar tells me. Still pretty busy though.
The last blog was a tough act to follow- with the sleep deprived element and all. :D
It's not like I'm having a downtime, in fact for the most part it's been the complete opposite.
The funny is that in these past few days I've been feeling like I'm actually the person that people make me out to be. People put out expectations for me and I am meeting them with effort that I just wouldn't be me if I didn't put out.
I feel very much like "myself" when I'm putting out effort towards something.
I tend to get more depressed and worry about who exactly "myself" refers to when my life goes through it's slower periods.
I guess what I can say from this I feel almost every bit the person I want to be as long as I am moving, striving, and walking around secretly imagining that I am wearing a cape.
The last one, of course, is an exaggeration- I definitely don't have that kind of glorified view of myself. But yeah, I'm about 50 times more likely to believe something nice someone says about me when I'm putting out an effort towards something than when I'm not.
What it all comes down to is that I don't like feeling like I'm taking up space or being lazy. I feel so guilty during those times that I couldn't possibly think that I'm as good as I think I should be.
So, I come back to the conclusion that I've already reached about a million times- I gotta keep moving.
Pretty much this was just my train of thought. It wasn't the least bit planned- in fact, I don't even really remember how I started this blog or what I originally planned to do with it.
I guess this is pretty pointless to those of you who... aren't me. But yeah, here it is.
(there might be a slight sleep deprived element in this one too. :D)
The last blog was a tough act to follow- with the sleep deprived element and all. :D
It's not like I'm having a downtime, in fact for the most part it's been the complete opposite.
The funny is that in these past few days I've been feeling like I'm actually the person that people make me out to be. People put out expectations for me and I am meeting them with effort that I just wouldn't be me if I didn't put out.
I feel very much like "myself" when I'm putting out effort towards something.
I tend to get more depressed and worry about who exactly "myself" refers to when my life goes through it's slower periods.
I guess what I can say from this I feel almost every bit the person I want to be as long as I am moving, striving, and walking around secretly imagining that I am wearing a cape.
The last one, of course, is an exaggeration- I definitely don't have that kind of glorified view of myself. But yeah, I'm about 50 times more likely to believe something nice someone says about me when I'm putting out an effort towards something than when I'm not.
What it all comes down to is that I don't like feeling like I'm taking up space or being lazy. I feel so guilty during those times that I couldn't possibly think that I'm as good as I think I should be.
So, I come back to the conclusion that I've already reached about a million times- I gotta keep moving.
Pretty much this was just my train of thought. It wasn't the least bit planned- in fact, I don't even really remember how I started this blog or what I originally planned to do with it.
I guess this is pretty pointless to those of you who... aren't me. But yeah, here it is.
(there might be a slight sleep deprived element in this one too. :D)
March 14, 2008
Should be sleeping
I actually got up to type this. I don't usually do that- usually if I have something I really want to write in the middle of the night, I'd just use a notebook or something.
Just now, I was going to apologize for my lack of cheerful blogs lately, but then I realized that I shouldn't. This is my blog and I write it for myself and perhaps even in a sort of attempt to reach out to other people in a way I can't bring myself to in real life.
So I should apologize for what I post, right?
....Right?
With April and the JET results coming up, I've been mentally preparing myself for defeat.
I know it's just me being negative, but I'm so afraid that I might fail.
I've failed at something before, but I was able to cover it up and go on with my life- no one even thought to ask me about it so I never really had to admit to it until I was ready.
And -that- took about four years.
So many people know about the JET thing. And so many people expressed so much confidence in that I will get in.
How can I talk to those people if I don't?
I will be less to them than they see me now. Down to how I see myself?
Am I really who I want to be or am I just managing to fool people into believing that I am?
People can say such grand things about me sometimes. It's so weird. I wonder how they could have possibly come to that conclusion. I don't see myself in the way that they seem to at all.
In fact, I don't see myself at all. So how can I possibly be all that people say?
I blogged about this some time ago on MySpace, I had a dream that I was at my own memorial service and people were talking about me. I was very surprised at what they said. At first (when I posted that blog), I believed that I was someone who didn't know me very well. Now I think that I was actually really myself.
I somehow became afraid of speaking Japanese. I wasn't always, though. Sometime in the year that I had to stop taking Japanese, I somehow began becoming worried that I would make mistakes. I'm still like that. But I'm a Japanese major and I'm graduating, so from here on I'm going to try to overcome this.
I mean, I'm worried about making mistakes, right? I'm making an even worse mistake by not opening my mouth. Even speaking in my native tongue I constantly worry if what I am saying is correct, or if it's boring, or if my voice is annoying. I know that it's very possibly completely incorrect and I need to get past this. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese.
I should not hesitate to speak Japanese. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese.
But I feel like I still will hesitate.
It's funny, though, when I'm in a situation where I am just trying to communicate and not worrying about correctness (like when I was talking to my host mom last summer,) I spoke all of the time and I really enjoyed it.
But yeah, I should be getting to sleep soon.
It's just that I don't know what do believe anymore. Am I an insane person who wishes she were a superheroine and sets limits that are way too beyond herself? Am I some kind of superheroine who has every super power there is except for the ability to see herself? Does the way people describe me mean that they know me better or worse than I do?
One of these is a correct statement:
I hope I managed to fool the JET interview people.
I hope I portrayed my competence well enough for the JET interview people.
I hope the correct one isn't the one that I really believe is.
Me = competence doesn't really ring a bell to me.
G'night
Just now, I was going to apologize for my lack of cheerful blogs lately, but then I realized that I shouldn't. This is my blog and I write it for myself and perhaps even in a sort of attempt to reach out to other people in a way I can't bring myself to in real life.
So I should apologize for what I post, right?
....Right?
With April and the JET results coming up, I've been mentally preparing myself for defeat.
I know it's just me being negative, but I'm so afraid that I might fail.
I've failed at something before, but I was able to cover it up and go on with my life- no one even thought to ask me about it so I never really had to admit to it until I was ready.
And -that- took about four years.
So many people know about the JET thing. And so many people expressed so much confidence in that I will get in.
How can I talk to those people if I don't?
I will be less to them than they see me now. Down to how I see myself?
Am I really who I want to be or am I just managing to fool people into believing that I am?
People can say such grand things about me sometimes. It's so weird. I wonder how they could have possibly come to that conclusion. I don't see myself in the way that they seem to at all.
In fact, I don't see myself at all. So how can I possibly be all that people say?
I blogged about this some time ago on MySpace, I had a dream that I was at my own memorial service and people were talking about me. I was very surprised at what they said. At first (when I posted that blog), I believed that I was someone who didn't know me very well. Now I think that I was actually really myself.
I somehow became afraid of speaking Japanese. I wasn't always, though. Sometime in the year that I had to stop taking Japanese, I somehow began becoming worried that I would make mistakes. I'm still like that. But I'm a Japanese major and I'm graduating, so from here on I'm going to try to overcome this.
I mean, I'm worried about making mistakes, right? I'm making an even worse mistake by not opening my mouth. Even speaking in my native tongue I constantly worry if what I am saying is correct, or if it's boring, or if my voice is annoying. I know that it's very possibly completely incorrect and I need to get past this. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese.
I should not hesitate to speak Japanese. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese. I should not hesitate to speak Japanese.
But I feel like I still will hesitate.
It's funny, though, when I'm in a situation where I am just trying to communicate and not worrying about correctness (like when I was talking to my host mom last summer,) I spoke all of the time and I really enjoyed it.
But yeah, I should be getting to sleep soon.
It's just that I don't know what do believe anymore. Am I an insane person who wishes she were a superheroine and sets limits that are way too beyond herself? Am I some kind of superheroine who has every super power there is except for the ability to see herself? Does the way people describe me mean that they know me better or worse than I do?
One of these is a correct statement:
I hope I managed to fool the JET interview people.
I hope I portrayed my competence well enough for the JET interview people.
I hope the correct one isn't the one that I really believe is.
Me = competence doesn't really ring a bell to me.
G'night
March 13, 2008
March 12, 2008
Might just be overemotional
But I'm not clueless.
I know where I am and where I should and shouldn't be.
And I shouldn't be here.
No one told me that, but I know it.
It's time to go.
Where? I suppose I'll either find out where I will or won't be going next month.
Either way, it's time to go.
August will be, anyway.
But I want to be out of here now.
I know where I am and where I should and shouldn't be.
And I shouldn't be here.
No one told me that, but I know it.
It's time to go.
Where? I suppose I'll either find out where I will or won't be going next month.
Either way, it's time to go.
August will be, anyway.
But I want to be out of here now.
March 11, 2008
Often
Sometimes when I tell people all that I've been doing for school lately, they've been saying "that's too bad."
Really, it's not.
I haven't been complaining.
In fact, I'd say there are over a billion and five worse states my life could be in.
I'd say that I'm in one of the better of them now.
Back to work- more later... possibly?
Really, it's not.
I haven't been complaining.
In fact, I'd say there are over a billion and five worse states my life could be in.
I'd say that I'm in one of the better of them now.
Back to work- more later... possibly?
March 10, 2008
Possibly
I guess I have good news.
I went to the eye doctor today and she was making it sound like my eyes might be good again in about 2 1/2 weeks. That's A LOT less time than the 3 months she was talking about before.
And I guess if all works out then, I will order a new kind of contact that would be better on my eyes.
I don't really want to get my hopes up again about this, but it'd be great if it works out that way.
I went to the eye doctor today and she was making it sound like my eyes might be good again in about 2 1/2 weeks. That's A LOT less time than the 3 months she was talking about before.
And I guess if all works out then, I will order a new kind of contact that would be better on my eyes.
I don't really want to get my hopes up again about this, but it'd be great if it works out that way.
March 07, 2008
Come again?
I saw a petition on facebook this evening trying to defend homeschooling. I guess there's some law that might be passed here in California that would make end homeschooling.
At first I thought it was strange, so I thought it was just someone starting stupid rumors again, but then I looked it up and it actually seems to be legit.
From my understanding (because I'm a senior in college and I've mastered the "art" of skimming), these are the criticisms of homeschooling-
1) Parents without teaching credentials... TEACHING.
2) Giving young people a very sided, biased (often religious) view of the world.
I'd go more into this group that's defending homeschooling, but I'd rather not because of the group's close association with religious groups doesn't exactly HELP against the second claim.
But again, I skimmed- whatever, I don't care.
Here's my experience from when I was home schooled during middle school---
1) My mom DOES indeed have a teaching credential. And besides that the Monterey County Office of Education assigned me to a "resource teacher" who would come by weekly (every two weeks?) to monitor my progress and to provide me with textbooks. So yeah, it wasn't just my mom picking subjects out of a hat or anything.
2) I know some people who read my blog KNOW that I left my elementary school on less than good terms. After a pretty bad experience which is actually for the most part blocked from my memory, I had very little desire, will, or ability(?) to have day-to-day interactions with kids my age. Plus I had health issues which were new to me at the time as well. In short, my mom didn't pull me out of school so that she could brainwash me with her views of the world- she pulled me out of school because I needed to be pulled out of school.
So, although it looked legit- it seems like the argument are running off of stereotypes and lack of real knowledge of the situation- which makes me not really want to take this seriously. I guess it would be fair of me to actually do some real reading on this, but I still really don't care to. (lol)
Why did I write this blog, anyway?
At first I thought it was strange, so I thought it was just someone starting stupid rumors again, but then I looked it up and it actually seems to be legit.
From my understanding (because I'm a senior in college and I've mastered the "art" of skimming), these are the criticisms of homeschooling-
1) Parents without teaching credentials... TEACHING.
2) Giving young people a very sided, biased (often religious) view of the world.
I'd go more into this group that's defending homeschooling, but I'd rather not because of the group's close association with religious groups doesn't exactly HELP against the second claim.
But again, I skimmed- whatever, I don't care.
Here's my experience from when I was home schooled during middle school---
1) My mom DOES indeed have a teaching credential. And besides that the Monterey County Office of Education assigned me to a "resource teacher" who would come by weekly (every two weeks?) to monitor my progress and to provide me with textbooks. So yeah, it wasn't just my mom picking subjects out of a hat or anything.
2) I know some people who read my blog KNOW that I left my elementary school on less than good terms. After a pretty bad experience which is actually for the most part blocked from my memory, I had very little desire, will, or ability(?) to have day-to-day interactions with kids my age. Plus I had health issues which were new to me at the time as well. In short, my mom didn't pull me out of school so that she could brainwash me with her views of the world- she pulled me out of school because I needed to be pulled out of school.
So, although it looked legit- it seems like the argument are running off of stereotypes and lack of real knowledge of the situation- which makes me not really want to take this seriously. I guess it would be fair of me to actually do some real reading on this, but I still really don't care to. (lol)
Why did I write this blog, anyway?
March 06, 2008
Buzy
When I was in elementary school, I took flute lessons for a while. One week, I wrote a little apology note to my teacher because I didn't practice between my lessons. I wrote "I was buzy" instead of "I was busy." My mom told me the correct spelling, I laughed at my mistake and named my flute "Buzy."
Kind of a strange name....
It probably has some double meaning that I'm still not aware of. And it's most likely very, very wrong.
But I was just a kid.
That's what popped into my head just now when I was considering titles for this blog.
I don't quite see how I could've been busy back then.
I certainly COULDN'T have been as busy as I am now.
Capstone.
I've been living, breathing, bleeding, (but not eating) capstone lately. I wake up and go to sleep thinking about it.
It's crazy, but on the other hand I'm glad I chose a topic I really like- although I guess it's a little more complicated that what was really necessary.
I have a survey up on the internet now for my capstone. I put it up Tuesday night but I didn't put out the website where I have my intro and link to my survey until Ann finished her survey so I could put that information up with it.
I was a little ahead of myself, I guess, because I guess she didn't really want to have her survey seen by lots of people yet. I feel kind of bad about that, but I guess she's ok with it. So, Ann, if you read this- sorry!
So, since I put out my survey last night, I got 6 results before I went to bed and 12 more when I woke up.
Anyway, looks like my class is going to be starting soon, I better just go ahead and post this.
Kind of a strange name....
It probably has some double meaning that I'm still not aware of. And it's most likely very, very wrong.
But I was just a kid.
That's what popped into my head just now when I was considering titles for this blog.
I don't quite see how I could've been busy back then.
I certainly COULDN'T have been as busy as I am now.
Capstone.
I've been living, breathing, bleeding, (but not eating) capstone lately. I wake up and go to sleep thinking about it.
It's crazy, but on the other hand I'm glad I chose a topic I really like- although I guess it's a little more complicated that what was really necessary.
I have a survey up on the internet now for my capstone. I put it up Tuesday night but I didn't put out the website where I have my intro and link to my survey until Ann finished her survey so I could put that information up with it.
I was a little ahead of myself, I guess, because I guess she didn't really want to have her survey seen by lots of people yet. I feel kind of bad about that, but I guess she's ok with it. So, Ann, if you read this- sorry!
So, since I put out my survey last night, I got 6 results before I went to bed and 12 more when I woke up.
Anyway, looks like my class is going to be starting soon, I better just go ahead and post this.
March 03, 2008
Ugh
I feel terrible because I didn't take my allergy medicine before leaving home today.
Bleh.
Oh, I found an AWESOME place for lunch/snack in Marina.
More later... if I have time.
----Later-----
I don't have time, but I'm doing this anyway.
I'm not sure where else I was going to go with this blog.
Yeah, so about the neat place in Marina. It pretty much took me by surprise. I noticed it before and I thought I'd check it out, but I wasn't expecting to be as impressed as I was.
For a while now, I've been in the habit of buying something at Savemart then taking it to one of the WLC kitchens and eating it there. I felt pretty good about the fact that my away-from-home lunches lately have been, for the most part, under three dollars. I want to support that business, so I guess I'm going to be spending just a little more on lunch again. (Oh well.) They're not too expensive anyway.
Anyway, the place is called Cafe Mia- it has pretty much all of the things you'd usually find in a cafe, plus sandwiches, salads, soup of the day, and pastry. Plus they're really nice there and they seem to be really into their business.
What else did I mention here earlier? That's right- allergies. I forgot to take my medicine today before I left home. I felt a little "ick" all day but I figured it was because I got up early even though I had trouble sleeping to begin with. I -KNEW- it was allergies when I was in my Japanese 380 class and the door was open. The wind was blowing in pollen or something, I guess, because during the duration of the time I was sitting there my head got all stuffed up and I got a huge headache. The good part of this was that I realized that I felt like that much of the time previous years and that I haven't had that reaction in quite some time, so what I'm attacking the allergies with these days is working REALLY well. So yaaaay.
I just started new eyedrops. They have steroids in them. As I told Ann yesterday, I should be able to see through walls soon. Don't worry, I'll use my super powers for good.
My capstone is FINALLY starting to look like SOMETHING. I mean that in a good way. As long as neither of the teachers steps in and deletes a bunch of my work, I'm pretty happy with it.
I named this entry "Ugh" because I wrote that beginning part when I had the huge headache and I felt really crappy. It's not really a "ugh" entry, though.
Okay, for someone who had no idea what to write, I did pretty well. But I guess the same can be said for pretty much every other blog I've ever written.
Bleh.
Oh, I found an AWESOME place for lunch/snack in Marina.
More later... if I have time.
----Later-----
I don't have time, but I'm doing this anyway.
I'm not sure where else I was going to go with this blog.
Yeah, so about the neat place in Marina. It pretty much took me by surprise. I noticed it before and I thought I'd check it out, but I wasn't expecting to be as impressed as I was.
For a while now, I've been in the habit of buying something at Savemart then taking it to one of the WLC kitchens and eating it there. I felt pretty good about the fact that my away-from-home lunches lately have been, for the most part, under three dollars. I want to support that business, so I guess I'm going to be spending just a little more on lunch again. (Oh well.) They're not too expensive anyway.
Anyway, the place is called Cafe Mia- it has pretty much all of the things you'd usually find in a cafe, plus sandwiches, salads, soup of the day, and pastry. Plus they're really nice there and they seem to be really into their business.
What else did I mention here earlier? That's right- allergies. I forgot to take my medicine today before I left home. I felt a little "ick" all day but I figured it was because I got up early even though I had trouble sleeping to begin with. I -KNEW- it was allergies when I was in my Japanese 380 class and the door was open. The wind was blowing in pollen or something, I guess, because during the duration of the time I was sitting there my head got all stuffed up and I got a huge headache. The good part of this was that I realized that I felt like that much of the time previous years and that I haven't had that reaction in quite some time, so what I'm attacking the allergies with these days is working REALLY well. So yaaaay.
I just started new eyedrops. They have steroids in them. As I told Ann yesterday, I should be able to see through walls soon. Don't worry, I'll use my super powers for good.
My capstone is FINALLY starting to look like SOMETHING. I mean that in a good way. As long as neither of the teachers steps in and deletes a bunch of my work, I'm pretty happy with it.
I named this entry "Ugh" because I wrote that beginning part when I had the huge headache and I felt really crappy. It's not really a "ugh" entry, though.
Okay, for someone who had no idea what to write, I did pretty well. But I guess the same can be said for pretty much every other blog I've ever written.
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