I was going though my old myspace blogs again. I found quite a few that I enjoyed reading. I used to have so much fun blogging and they were so witty (sometimes) and fun to read. I wish I could bring that feeling back.
My wit and randomness has mostly found a home on my twitter account. Actually day to day things aren't really recorded anyone except in chats and emails. It's a shame, though.
Yesterday, I tweeted-
"So I just realized that my tweets are really weird without the context of... umm... the REST of my life. Oh well, you'll live. ;)"
and someone I don't know personally who has been following my replied-
"@Juuleeya Understandable or not, your tweets are entertaining. And that's the point, right?"
It was kind of neat to know that one of the accounts owned by someone I don't know is actually someone who enjoys my tweets and not just some random twitter bot.
I always really like it when other people can appreciate my "mind goo." :D
Anyway, I thought I would link to some of my old blogs that I really liked as I was skimming through this evening-
1) I LOL'd at this SHS drama related dream that I don't even remember having had before.
2) Reading myself wax poetic about curry amused me to no end. (I actually got tired of it after a while living here, but I still really like to eat it someitmes.)
3) I almost passed right over this blog because I don't even like to think about Annie Get Your Gun, but I ended up reading it and really liking what I wrote about it.
4) I just really love the part about the "Certificate of Appreciation."
5) I wish I remembered if I ever found out what this was about. Oh, and I like my lone comment on it. I think it was originally replying to someone.
6) Is it bad that I just realized how out-of-it this blog was this evening? I like the "Perhaps I'll be able to walk on my own soon??" bit.
7) And lastly (but not leastly?), I liked this blog a lot because it's along the same lines that I've been thinking about lately. :)
That was a fun, yet pointless, little blast from past, right?
Soo.... let's blog a little more about the present shall we?
Today in an English class I was co-teaching, there was an activity in the book where one person had to quickly ask the questions and the other person had to answer as quickly as possible. The teacher and I demonstrated with each other. We had to say "yes, I did" to all of the "did you...?" questions for the sake of the next question making sense.
This is how the conversation went when I was answering-
Teacher: What time did you wake up on Sunday?
Me: Noon. (This was true, I was at an open mic night Saturday night and got home at around 2:30. I didn't get to bed until 3:30-ish.)
Teacher: Did you study?
Me: Yes, I did. (Not true)
Teacher: What did you study?
Me: I studied economics. (Well, I have been studying that lately...)
Teacher: Did you play any sports?
Me: Yes, I did. (I most definitely did not.)
Teacher: What did you play?
Me: I played badminton. (went with the sport I like playing the best even if I hardly ever play it.
Teacher: Did you watch TV?
Me: Yes, I did. (...nope)
Teacher: What did you watch?
Me: I watched (at a complete and total loss) the weather.
The weather?? That's all I could think of?
Anyway, I thought that was a fun story.
Krys is still in boot camp now and I've been mailing her letters about once a week. It's funny, sometimes while I'm writing them, I think "wow, I can usually do this whole sit down and write a letter thing..!" but most of the time, I think I'm just blabbing. It seems like the words written in letters are so much more important than emailed words. Especially when email is out of the question right now. I miss chatting with her all of the time... although most of what I talked to her about was entirely pointless.
Anyway, I've been pretty busy these days and I've been enjoying life a lot.
I'm going to be going to Thailand soon. Hurray!
March 18, 2010
March 04, 2010
Hello March
Today was my last day to say goodbye to my graduating 3rd year JHS students. Some of them are really good kids and I am going to miss being their teacher. It makes me sad to see them go. It's funny that I can feel so attached to them when I don't really even know them well at all. Despite the fact I don't know a lot about them and considering how many students I have and how little time I had for each individual student, I learned a lot about their personalities and had fun interacting with them. I think, all and all, I made good use of the time we had together.
A big story in the news today back in the US is the protests of the budget cuts in higher education. I was surprised to hear the enormity of the protests and was sad to hear that so many students had been arrested because of them. I've been calculating how much money I have for grad school over and over these days, so I understood how terrible these students feel to have the impossibility known as "having money" get in the way of their dreams and what they want to achieve.
I think everyone should have a chance to be educated well and at least make an effort to get where they want to go in life. Of course there should be barriers- because, as they say, nothing is worth having that's not worth fighting for, but there's something wrong with the system if the barriers are simply too strong.
Today is a rather sappy day in which I keep getting myself upset over things. Sorry if this blog goes off the emo charts.
A big story in the news today back in the US is the protests of the budget cuts in higher education. I was surprised to hear the enormity of the protests and was sad to hear that so many students had been arrested because of them. I've been calculating how much money I have for grad school over and over these days, so I understood how terrible these students feel to have the impossibility known as "having money" get in the way of their dreams and what they want to achieve.
I think everyone should have a chance to be educated well and at least make an effort to get where they want to go in life. Of course there should be barriers- because, as they say, nothing is worth having that's not worth fighting for, but there's something wrong with the system if the barriers are simply too strong.
Today is a rather sappy day in which I keep getting myself upset over things. Sorry if this blog goes off the emo charts.
February 25, 2010
Opening up?
It's always been very difficult (if not impossible) for me to talk about the things that are really really close to my heart. When I do, I often either make them sound less important than they really are or exaggerate humorously. If it's something I'm really passionate about, I don't like people knowing it. I don't like letting people know what's really important for me because I feel like that gives them the power to destroy it.
But they don't have to have this power. I keep reminding myself of this. If I hold true to what I want and believe in, it won't matter what other people say or do.
Once I start grad school, something I'm very passionate about will be out there in the open. Even now, talking about grad school with everyone I know, I end up opening the door just a crack or a little more letting people know what I want to do... but still very rarely why or how much.
If I am going to be who I want to be, I am going to have to pull that door open and let anyone who would listen know what I am really about.
But these things aren't easy. I feel the door opening gradually at a speed that I can almost call comfortable.
...............
My name is Julia and I will be starting to work on my Masters degree in the fall. I will be entering the International Policy Studies Program at Monterey Institute of International Studies with a concentration on International Conflict Resolution. If time and money permit it, I also want to work towards getting a certificate for Nonproliferation Studies. I want to do this because I dislike the idea of innocent people losing their lives and having to live feeling that they are unsafe. I want to make the world just a little bit safer. I'm especially interested in nonproliferation studies because I've visited Hiroshima and decided that I never want to see that happen again to anyone in the world in my lifetime. I don't need to be an important or well known person, but I just want to make a difference.
Still, beyond this, there is so much I want to do. I think that getting into JET gave me a little taste of what it feels like to really succeed and I am not sure when exactly I will stop wanting more.
.................
Hmm... well, that wasn't much but it's a start.
Because it is so difficult for me to open up to others about what's really important to me, you can imagine how hard it was to up the courage to even apply for this grad school program.
It's all going to be worth it.
I just it's ridiculous that I got over such a barrier and now suddenly I'm constantly obsessing over something as ridiculous as money.
Oh well, MIIS will happen even if I have to get (a) loan(s).
(this blog kind of deteriorated....)
But they don't have to have this power. I keep reminding myself of this. If I hold true to what I want and believe in, it won't matter what other people say or do.
Once I start grad school, something I'm very passionate about will be out there in the open. Even now, talking about grad school with everyone I know, I end up opening the door just a crack or a little more letting people know what I want to do... but still very rarely why or how much.
If I am going to be who I want to be, I am going to have to pull that door open and let anyone who would listen know what I am really about.
But these things aren't easy. I feel the door opening gradually at a speed that I can almost call comfortable.
...............
My name is Julia and I will be starting to work on my Masters degree in the fall. I will be entering the International Policy Studies Program at Monterey Institute of International Studies with a concentration on International Conflict Resolution. If time and money permit it, I also want to work towards getting a certificate for Nonproliferation Studies. I want to do this because I dislike the idea of innocent people losing their lives and having to live feeling that they are unsafe. I want to make the world just a little bit safer. I'm especially interested in nonproliferation studies because I've visited Hiroshima and decided that I never want to see that happen again to anyone in the world in my lifetime. I don't need to be an important or well known person, but I just want to make a difference.
Still, beyond this, there is so much I want to do. I think that getting into JET gave me a little taste of what it feels like to really succeed and I am not sure when exactly I will stop wanting more.
.................
Hmm... well, that wasn't much but it's a start.
Because it is so difficult for me to open up to others about what's really important to me, you can imagine how hard it was to up the courage to even apply for this grad school program.
It's all going to be worth it.
I just it's ridiculous that I got over such a barrier and now suddenly I'm constantly obsessing over something as ridiculous as money.
Oh well, MIIS will happen even if I have to get (a) loan(s).
(this blog kind of deteriorated....)
February 16, 2010
been a while
It seems like I just can't stick to blogging, can I?
So I was sitting at my desk thinking about what things I need to do. I went through the list that had been going through my head for months now.
'Finished that... finished that....'
I ended up confused with an empty list.
Suddenly, 'I guess it's time to return to cleaning your apartment' popped into my head.
"Oh!" I almost said out loud.
I'm not sure why, but my mood has been kind of poor lately. Knowing me, it's probably a combination of a lot of things. Krystina's been off at boot camp for about a week now and it feels like it's been much longer. I find myself in the middle of the day wondering what she's been doing and how she's doing. I wrote her a letter in which I requested that she tell me "everything", but obviously this is snail mail we're talking about so it'll be a while.
I think I've also been experiencing a post-performance slump. My Japanese dance performance was last Thursday and, leading up to it, I was really looking forward to it. And, after just a few hours, it was over. I realized I really started liking dance more knowing there was going to be a performance (the news evidently had the opposite effect on another one of the girls, though. :/) I can't remember if I had post-performance slumps in high school after plays were over, because it probably just would be blended in with the ups and downs I had all of the time in high school.
I've been studying economics on my own. I tried to sign up for classes online for a prerequisite for a class at MIIS, but the teacher told me that it was too late to sign up for the class. I got the text books anyway. Sometimes, MIIS allows students to take an econ test instead of having to take the prerequisite classes, but I am not sure if that will work out for me. However, the textbook has a magical ability to put me to sleep, so that worries me that an economics class would have a similar effect. So, I decided that even if I still have to take these economics classes that I am now studying the textbooks for, it's a good idea to study them now at my own pace so that I can be a good student and perhaps get some interest in the subject.
Besides... I have a lot of work time on my hands with Krystina vanished from the internet.
I started chapter 3 of Macroeconomics yesterday. The concepts so far aren't really complicated- they seem to be almost entirely common sense, but the book choses to discuss these simple concepts in just about the most complicated ways possible. Up until about chapter 5, it's just basic economics info. I checked the Microeconomics book and the first 5 chapters are exactly the same. It's pretty cool to know that when the times comes to start Microecon, I can skip a reasonably sized chunk of the textbook.
Hmm... I think that's all that has been going on with me recently.
So I was sitting at my desk thinking about what things I need to do. I went through the list that had been going through my head for months now.
'Finished that... finished that....'
I ended up confused with an empty list.
Suddenly, 'I guess it's time to return to cleaning your apartment' popped into my head.
"Oh!" I almost said out loud.
I'm not sure why, but my mood has been kind of poor lately. Knowing me, it's probably a combination of a lot of things. Krystina's been off at boot camp for about a week now and it feels like it's been much longer. I find myself in the middle of the day wondering what she's been doing and how she's doing. I wrote her a letter in which I requested that she tell me "everything", but obviously this is snail mail we're talking about so it'll be a while.
I think I've also been experiencing a post-performance slump. My Japanese dance performance was last Thursday and, leading up to it, I was really looking forward to it. And, after just a few hours, it was over. I realized I really started liking dance more knowing there was going to be a performance (the news evidently had the opposite effect on another one of the girls, though. :/) I can't remember if I had post-performance slumps in high school after plays were over, because it probably just would be blended in with the ups and downs I had all of the time in high school.
I've been studying economics on my own. I tried to sign up for classes online for a prerequisite for a class at MIIS, but the teacher told me that it was too late to sign up for the class. I got the text books anyway. Sometimes, MIIS allows students to take an econ test instead of having to take the prerequisite classes, but I am not sure if that will work out for me. However, the textbook has a magical ability to put me to sleep, so that worries me that an economics class would have a similar effect. So, I decided that even if I still have to take these economics classes that I am now studying the textbooks for, it's a good idea to study them now at my own pace so that I can be a good student and perhaps get some interest in the subject.
Besides... I have a lot of work time on my hands with Krystina vanished from the internet.
I started chapter 3 of Macroeconomics yesterday. The concepts so far aren't really complicated- they seem to be almost entirely common sense, but the book choses to discuss these simple concepts in just about the most complicated ways possible. Up until about chapter 5, it's just basic economics info. I checked the Microeconomics book and the first 5 chapters are exactly the same. It's pretty cool to know that when the times comes to start Microecon, I can skip a reasonably sized chunk of the textbook.
Hmm... I think that's all that has been going on with me recently.
January 28, 2010
black things
Remember that blog from last April in which I said that I was finding black things on the ground and that I thought that a rodent had left them?
I concluded that it was not a rodent, but from then on those black things just kept appearing out of nowhere. Sometimes on my bed, sometimes on my kitchen table.
Well, I finally solved that mystery.
I was brushing my hair yesterday when I noticed that my brush was caught on something. After some gentle brushing from the bottom up, something fell into my hand. A black thing.
"It's in my hair, too?" I thought, astonished.
Then I looked at my brush and realized that a parts of my black hairbrush (round things attached to the end of each.... tong?) were falling off.
So that's why they were always appearing all over the place. ><
And that's why I tweeted that I felt like an idiot.
:)
(super glad to know it's not rodent related, though!)
I concluded that it was not a rodent, but from then on those black things just kept appearing out of nowhere. Sometimes on my bed, sometimes on my kitchen table.
Well, I finally solved that mystery.
I was brushing my hair yesterday when I noticed that my brush was caught on something. After some gentle brushing from the bottom up, something fell into my hand. A black thing.
"It's in my hair, too?" I thought, astonished.
Then I looked at my brush and realized that a parts of my black hairbrush (round things attached to the end of each.... tong?) were falling off.
So that's why they were always appearing all over the place. ><
And that's why I tweeted that I felt like an idiot.
:)
(super glad to know it's not rodent related, though!)
January 23, 2010
just a little rant
Sometimes it is just so hard for me to be patient with people.
When I started taking Japanese dance, I was mostly in it for a chance to hang out with some of the other ALT girls and make friends with them. As time went on, though, I started to really like Japanese dance itself.
It's so difficult for me to enjoy things that have precise rules and details that have to be followed. Usually if I don't have a little room to make something a little more my own, I don't care for it.
But I like Japanese dance. I like it even though I am told exactly where to put my feet, exactly how high to lift my arms, etc. I am always told to relax my shoulders- which is something that the pilates instructor is always reminding me to do as well. I came to realize how much tension I put into my shoulders a lot of the time and I think these biweekly reminders to relax them are good for me.
But I have some stress associated with the dance classes and it just seems to increase. Being the member of the group that knows the most Japanese, I have become the translator. My status as the go-between has been slowly but surely wearing me out.
As the translator, I am the one that always has to tell the teacher why someone in the group can't make it to a lesson and, even worse, it is me to has to call and cancel lessons.
It's been increasingly hard for me to be cool about it when someone tells me that they can't come to the lesson. I understand it when it's a good reason (like traveling), but sometimes I feel like the reasons that they tell me can easily just be put aside or worked around.
Tomorrow is a rehearsal for the performance we're putting on in a few weeks and I am really hoping they all show up. During that last practice, our teacher seemed to really think it's important for us all to attend this one and I really don't want to let her down. She's been very kind and generous to us. Plus, this is the rehearsal for the whole show- including the elementary school students class and at least one another group. It's not all about us and we should try to do all that we can to not disrupt the entire rehearsal for everyone else. (The culture plays a big part in this, too. Our teacher is a very traditional old Japanese woman.)
One of the girls in the class actually lashed out at me because she had plans for the day of tomorrow's rehearsal and she said that I should have told her before. This was completely inappropriate because-
A) I told her via facebook chat that I would message her the rehearsal schedule a few days before when she got back into town, but she told me that there's no big difference between hearing the dates then and waiting a few days and finding out what they are at the lesson. So, because she said that, I didn't send them to her.
B1) I played no part whatsoever in the scheduling of said rehearsal. I was JUST translating.
B2) I don't have a copy of her social schedule. I'm sorry that it clashed with the rehearsal schedule, but it's really not my fault at all.
*****sigh*****
I understand that she could have just been irritable and took it out on me. I understand- people do that sometimes. And she apologized later (although she didn't mention whether she remembered TELLING me to not worry about messaging her or not, so I'm a little irked about that.)
What's driving me crazy is being blamed for what I was just translating on top of all of the practices I've had to go to without everyone else there.
And I know it's not always their fault. We had someone with swine flu, people traveling, etc. etc. etc. It's just that this has really made me so tired of being the person in between.
I just want to enjoy dancing and relish the fact that I finally get to perform something again for the first time since graduating high school.
It's so hard to be patient with people sometimes.
Dance class girls- sorry you guys end up reading this. I kind of felt the need to get this out somewhere.
When I started taking Japanese dance, I was mostly in it for a chance to hang out with some of the other ALT girls and make friends with them. As time went on, though, I started to really like Japanese dance itself.
It's so difficult for me to enjoy things that have precise rules and details that have to be followed. Usually if I don't have a little room to make something a little more my own, I don't care for it.
But I like Japanese dance. I like it even though I am told exactly where to put my feet, exactly how high to lift my arms, etc. I am always told to relax my shoulders- which is something that the pilates instructor is always reminding me to do as well. I came to realize how much tension I put into my shoulders a lot of the time and I think these biweekly reminders to relax them are good for me.
But I have some stress associated with the dance classes and it just seems to increase. Being the member of the group that knows the most Japanese, I have become the translator. My status as the go-between has been slowly but surely wearing me out.
As the translator, I am the one that always has to tell the teacher why someone in the group can't make it to a lesson and, even worse, it is me to has to call and cancel lessons.
It's been increasingly hard for me to be cool about it when someone tells me that they can't come to the lesson. I understand it when it's a good reason (like traveling), but sometimes I feel like the reasons that they tell me can easily just be put aside or worked around.
Tomorrow is a rehearsal for the performance we're putting on in a few weeks and I am really hoping they all show up. During that last practice, our teacher seemed to really think it's important for us all to attend this one and I really don't want to let her down. She's been very kind and generous to us. Plus, this is the rehearsal for the whole show- including the elementary school students class and at least one another group. It's not all about us and we should try to do all that we can to not disrupt the entire rehearsal for everyone else. (The culture plays a big part in this, too. Our teacher is a very traditional old Japanese woman.)
One of the girls in the class actually lashed out at me because she had plans for the day of tomorrow's rehearsal and she said that I should have told her before. This was completely inappropriate because-
A) I told her via facebook chat that I would message her the rehearsal schedule a few days before when she got back into town, but she told me that there's no big difference between hearing the dates then and waiting a few days and finding out what they are at the lesson. So, because she said that, I didn't send them to her.
B1) I played no part whatsoever in the scheduling of said rehearsal. I was JUST translating.
B2) I don't have a copy of her social schedule. I'm sorry that it clashed with the rehearsal schedule, but it's really not my fault at all.
*****sigh*****
I understand that she could have just been irritable and took it out on me. I understand- people do that sometimes. And she apologized later (although she didn't mention whether she remembered TELLING me to not worry about messaging her or not, so I'm a little irked about that.)
What's driving me crazy is being blamed for what I was just translating on top of all of the practices I've had to go to without everyone else there.
And I know it's not always their fault. We had someone with swine flu, people traveling, etc. etc. etc. It's just that this has really made me so tired of being the person in between.
I just want to enjoy dancing and relish the fact that I finally get to perform something again for the first time since graduating high school.
It's so hard to be patient with people sometimes.
Dance class girls- sorry you guys end up reading this. I kind of felt the need to get this out somewhere.
January 19, 2010
Mornings
When I set my alarm clocks at night, I choose a song on my iPod to wake up to in the morning very carefully. Sometimes I go for something calm sound so that I am not too surprised when it wakes me and sometimes I choose a song that I think will energize me.
But it's always just noise at 7 am.
I know for a fact I haven't been getting enough sleep.
I pick up my cell phone from the table next to my bed and I check my email and twitter. Yes, I know that I can easily do it on the computer if I just get up- but for a while this worked to help me try to wake up.
This morning, however, I just got disoriented and kept reading the same tweets over and over.
At some point, my cell phone alarm set for 7:05 goes off.
Whether I can get up immediately depends on how cold it is. My main concern is that where I am is warm and outside of that is NOT. All that's in my world at those moments is my bed and the ridiculously high pile of blankets that I feel that I need to have.
But I resolve to get myself to get up.
So I quietly countdown...
"5... 4... 3... 2... 1...."
...and I get up about 15 seconds later.
And then what's usually the worst part of my day is officially over with.
But it's always just noise at 7 am.
I know for a fact I haven't been getting enough sleep.
I pick up my cell phone from the table next to my bed and I check my email and twitter. Yes, I know that I can easily do it on the computer if I just get up- but for a while this worked to help me try to wake up.
This morning, however, I just got disoriented and kept reading the same tweets over and over.
At some point, my cell phone alarm set for 7:05 goes off.
Whether I can get up immediately depends on how cold it is. My main concern is that where I am is warm and outside of that is NOT. All that's in my world at those moments is my bed and the ridiculously high pile of blankets that I feel that I need to have.
But I resolve to get myself to get up.
So I quietly countdown...
"5... 4... 3... 2... 1...."
...and I get up about 15 seconds later.
And then what's usually the worst part of my day is officially over with.
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