December 08, 2009

go go (stop and smell the roses) and GO!

I finished my application to grad school today and submitted it over the internet.

I realize that I haven't even really directly mentioned grad school on this blog... which is a definite sign that the way I use blogs is very different from how it was.

The application was a bit stressful to pull together- especially trying to figure out the quickest way to get transcripts from MPC and CSUMB from another country. There is really no urgent hurry, but I want to know for sure about grad school (MIIS) before I decide for sure about not staying in Japan another year.

(I am about 98% sure now that I'll be moving back to the US this summer either way.)

The whole transcript craziness might be over now, but I am waiting to know for sure.

The application process made me remember how much a thrive from being stressed and busy. I used to know this feeling well when I was a student, but the ALT life very rarely feels hectic or busy.

Even now with nothing to do, the "high" from getting things done earlier has yet to fade. I am just sitting here in this desk and I might seem outwardly content, but I'm inwardly restless. I'm glad to have things done, but I kind of feel like I want more.

I had a dream that I was back in the US and going to grad school. It seems my brain is so stuck in the future that I don't even dream in the present. I was like this before I moved to Japan- I didn't really feel like I could get into anything because my mind was already moved onto the next step.

So... once I am sure that everything for my grad school app is taken care of, I'm going to try to refocus on where I am now and enjoy it.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I know what you mean. Life feels different after school. Slower somehow, and it's kind of nice but it's not at the same time.

I haven't decided if I like it or not yet.

I know what you mean about being ahead in the future. I felt that way when the summer before I left for England.