6 days ago, I sat in a chair getting a haircut.
I didn't trust the man cutting my hair at all. He was hard to understand- not just because of his accent, but his method of communication itself seemed rather flawed. Not to mention every time someone walked into the shop, he would spin around quickly to greet them. I found this very disconcerting considering he had sharp objects near my head.
I really missed the place where I used to get my haircut in Japan. It was always very gentle and, although the communication was all in Japanese, I trusted them not to mess up my hair (or stab me accidentally). I hadn't realized how much I would miss that place until I was in this other place.
I ended up there because I told my mom I wanted a haircut and she told me that a place in Prunedale which usually charges more was having a $12 special. While that would be about the same as a Supercuts haircut, I figured that it would likely be a better haircut for cheaper. As a grad school student, naturally, the chance to save money drew me in.
At one point, the said that after he is done cutting my hair he will show me a way I could do my hair for going out.
'Sure, why not?' I thought.
This is what he did....
He took a HANDFUL of mousse and put it in my hair. This alone made me cringe- I don't like having a lot of product in my hair and even when I do put some in, it's only a tiny amount which I sometimes even dilute with water.
Anyway, he covered my hair with mousse, got out a curling iron, and began curling my hair.
I just sat there; my expression irritated.
I've never liked or wanted curls in my hair.
Let's flash back to my childhood, shall we?
Like many other kids, I didn't like to eat the crust on bread (I still don't actually, come to think of it, but I eat it anyway). When my mom and her sisters were younger, they used to be encouraged to eat bread crust by adults who told them that it would make their hair curlier. As the story goes, this was enough to convince them to eat the crust from the bread.
So, naturally, some of them tried to pass on this encouragement to me.
This had an adverse effect- I did not want curly hair, so hearing this made me believe there was even more reason to avoid eating bread crust.
Years later, I watched the movie Mulan and started to envy straight Asian hair.
I was always easy going when someone wanted to curl my hair, but I would always get rid of the curls as soon as I was home again.
Anyway, the guy at the salon I was at tried to charge me eight additional dollars for the styling. I told him that he can't charge someone without telling them and he brought the price back down to $12.
I went back to my mom's house and the mousse-y, curly hair was bothering me. I wanted to determine what I thought of the haircut, but the ridiculousness that I had no wish to replicate was getting in the way. So, I used my mom's shower, washed the mousse hair, and regained my rights to the top my head. It felt like sanity and control re-entered my life.
A few hours later, my mom and I were at the mall in Salinas. We passed by a booth selling straighteners and curlers. A saleswoman was trying to get us to stop. I thought it would be nice to have a good quality straightener, but I don't feel like I have the money to spend, so I kept walking. However, I realized that my mom had stopped and began talking to the woman- I was trapped.
My was was obviously the one who was interested, but since she has very short hair, the saleswoman kept asking me to sit down so she could demonstrate on me. I thought this was ridiculous- she curled part of my hair once and I asked her to straighten it again. From this, you would think that she would understand that I have absolutely no interest in this straighteners ability to also curl, but she curled my hair a second time. My mom was the one who was interested, but she continued to insist on using my hair to demonstrate when that really only communicated that my mom couldn't do these things to her hair anyway.
I really didn't get who exactly she was trying to sell the product to and I was really glad to finally get away. I was baffled that two people curled my hair without my permission in one day.
And that's the story.
It seemed more interesting in my mind.
(I'm willing to bet $238239 that Bethany thought of at least one comment while reading this.
By the way, I don't dislike other people having lots of product in their hair or curls- I just don't like either of those things for myself.)
November 18, 2010
November 12, 2010
Keeps getting better
It's way too late to be blogging right now, but I've had this blog in my head for a while and I kind of feel like if I am ever going to get it posted, I should just do it.
At this time in my life, I can say that I truly believe that life is getting better. I'm really enjoying grad school. I'm finding it is in many ways better than JET, which was better than college, which was better than high school. I find myself more inwardly open and able to find niches and friends and in places and through the years my environment has changed gradually to one that has more and more niches and friends available.
I'm not going to lie- I've been stressed and overwhelmed. There is a lot to do and think about as a grad school student. My typical life methodology is to take things step-by-step, but it almost feels like some other students were gifted with extra legs and can take several steps at once. In a way, though, I thrive on that. And, from what I can tell, I'm doing rather well.
I'm pretty sure I've adapted to being at MIIS faster than any other place I've gone to school at or worked at. Maybe it was due to the challenges I faced living alone in Japan, perhaps I am just not phased by things as easily as I used to be.
I'm single and I'm fine with it. I always hear about people feeling empty without someone to be in a relationship with, but I don't feel that way at all. I feel that there are no vacancies in my life. Instead I feel like my life is already full of really good people- all taking up spaces that they belong in. They're not replacing anyone- where they are is unique to them. I might look at a guy and think he's cute and perhaps be a little interested in him. Maybe I might feel a little sad if he's not interested in me, but I wouldn't feel like I'm lacking anything without him.
Society has a lot of expectations.
How you should feel about being single, how you should dress, how you should act...
That's another blog.
I feel like I am too overtired to write this blog. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried.
At this time in my life, I can say that I truly believe that life is getting better. I'm really enjoying grad school. I'm finding it is in many ways better than JET, which was better than college, which was better than high school. I find myself more inwardly open and able to find niches and friends and in places and through the years my environment has changed gradually to one that has more and more niches and friends available.
I'm not going to lie- I've been stressed and overwhelmed. There is a lot to do and think about as a grad school student. My typical life methodology is to take things step-by-step, but it almost feels like some other students were gifted with extra legs and can take several steps at once. In a way, though, I thrive on that. And, from what I can tell, I'm doing rather well.
I'm pretty sure I've adapted to being at MIIS faster than any other place I've gone to school at or worked at. Maybe it was due to the challenges I faced living alone in Japan, perhaps I am just not phased by things as easily as I used to be.
I'm single and I'm fine with it. I always hear about people feeling empty without someone to be in a relationship with, but I don't feel that way at all. I feel that there are no vacancies in my life. Instead I feel like my life is already full of really good people- all taking up spaces that they belong in. They're not replacing anyone- where they are is unique to them. I might look at a guy and think he's cute and perhaps be a little interested in him. Maybe I might feel a little sad if he's not interested in me, but I wouldn't feel like I'm lacking anything without him.
Society has a lot of expectations.
How you should feel about being single, how you should dress, how you should act...
That's another blog.
I feel like I am too overtired to write this blog. Perhaps I shouldn't have tried.
November 07, 2010
Not a real blog
Just a few past blogs of note that motivated me a bit when I found them again--
Applying for a scholarship in 2007.
Visiting my old elementary school also in 2007.
I'll post a real blog sometime soon. I've been writing one in my head and I've been determined to write it. I just haven't had the time.
*sigh*
Applying for a scholarship in 2007.
Visiting my old elementary school also in 2007.
I'll post a real blog sometime soon. I've been writing one in my head and I've been determined to write it. I just haven't had the time.
*sigh*
October 21, 2010
A long awaited update.
I forgot what the template to this blog looked like.
It's been over two months since I last wrote a blog. It's funny- just a few years ago, the blogs just kept coming, but now it just doesn't seem to work that way anymore. I haven't been much of a blogger in years and I am not sure exactly what happened to that.
I thought that returning to student life would mean a return to blogs because my blogging habit pretty much ended when my undergrad life ended, but here I am halfway through my first semester as a grad school student and the blogs have not returned.
But there's no reason for me to fret about it. What's done is done, but it won't stop me from now and then trying to revive the blog creature in my brain.
In a way, I feel like it's never completely died. I've been writing blogs in my head all of the time in the past 2+ years, it's just been that by the time I'm sitting in front of a computer, the train of thought is already miles (or kilometers) away.
I've written a few papers for school so far. It felt strange to be back in the world of writing papers, so it was a little difficult at first. Quickly, I rediscovered aspects of it that I like and ones I really don't like (ex. figuring out how to do citations).
The school has offered me work study, but I've only applied to one job that I haven't heard back from. I'm beginning to feel a lot like I did as an undergrad- like I just want to be a student and I really DON'T want to work at the same time. I'm still fully intending to work, but I still wish I could focus entirely on academics.
Although I seem to be doing well in school, I can't help but feel kind of behind compared to many of the other students. I get the impression that most of the other students at the school have more precise goals and ideas of where they want to end up. For me, I've been studying Japan and Japanese for so long and I want to use my time at MIIS to learn about many other places and cultures.
This week was kind of unusual in that I found myself thinking about potential things I could do in the not-too-distant future. I have random spurts of inspiration every now and then. It's from those times that I can figure out what I plan to do next. I didn't really have any experiences of that in my post-Japan life until this week. As much as I've been enjoying my time at MIIS, it seems like I miss out on a lot having no idea what kind of direction I want to take.
Last night, I was supposed to work on a news article report for my Japanese class, but then ended up doing it much later because I was suddenly struck with the desire to plan the rest of my MIIS semesters and look up some internships. I figured that I've been waiting for months to get that kind of frame of mind to show up and it's worthwhile to neglect a little schoolwork in its favor. Because of that, I was up to about 1 am working on the news article report. Still, I think I made the right decision.
After this week, I have an idea of a region I might want to specialize in conflicts in and an institution that I would love to to an internship with (although I am not sure if I would be able to get in). I've also decided that I want to add a new aspect to my education at MIIS. So, I have a few things to talk to my adviser about.
Between chats and a phone call, I completely lost my train of thought. There was something else I was going to say.
I suppose that means this is it for now. Hopefully, I'll blog again soon.
It's been over two months since I last wrote a blog. It's funny- just a few years ago, the blogs just kept coming, but now it just doesn't seem to work that way anymore. I haven't been much of a blogger in years and I am not sure exactly what happened to that.
I thought that returning to student life would mean a return to blogs because my blogging habit pretty much ended when my undergrad life ended, but here I am halfway through my first semester as a grad school student and the blogs have not returned.
But there's no reason for me to fret about it. What's done is done, but it won't stop me from now and then trying to revive the blog creature in my brain.
In a way, I feel like it's never completely died. I've been writing blogs in my head all of the time in the past 2+ years, it's just been that by the time I'm sitting in front of a computer, the train of thought is already miles (or kilometers) away.
I've written a few papers for school so far. It felt strange to be back in the world of writing papers, so it was a little difficult at first. Quickly, I rediscovered aspects of it that I like and ones I really don't like (ex. figuring out how to do citations).
The school has offered me work study, but I've only applied to one job that I haven't heard back from. I'm beginning to feel a lot like I did as an undergrad- like I just want to be a student and I really DON'T want to work at the same time. I'm still fully intending to work, but I still wish I could focus entirely on academics.
Although I seem to be doing well in school, I can't help but feel kind of behind compared to many of the other students. I get the impression that most of the other students at the school have more precise goals and ideas of where they want to end up. For me, I've been studying Japan and Japanese for so long and I want to use my time at MIIS to learn about many other places and cultures.
This week was kind of unusual in that I found myself thinking about potential things I could do in the not-too-distant future. I have random spurts of inspiration every now and then. It's from those times that I can figure out what I plan to do next. I didn't really have any experiences of that in my post-Japan life until this week. As much as I've been enjoying my time at MIIS, it seems like I miss out on a lot having no idea what kind of direction I want to take.
Last night, I was supposed to work on a news article report for my Japanese class, but then ended up doing it much later because I was suddenly struck with the desire to plan the rest of my MIIS semesters and look up some internships. I figured that I've been waiting for months to get that kind of frame of mind to show up and it's worthwhile to neglect a little schoolwork in its favor. Because of that, I was up to about 1 am working on the news article report. Still, I think I made the right decision.
After this week, I have an idea of a region I might want to specialize in conflicts in and an institution that I would love to to an internship with (although I am not sure if I would be able to get in). I've also decided that I want to add a new aspect to my education at MIIS. So, I have a few things to talk to my adviser about.
Between chats and a phone call, I completely lost my train of thought. There was something else I was going to say.
I suppose that means this is it for now. Hopefully, I'll blog again soon.
August 18, 2010
here again
Well, this is about a month late, but I am back in California. I have a lot to talk about, but no time and energy to, but I think that should get better soon.
Meanwhile, my econ class is starting again...
(posted from my phone)
Meanwhile, my econ class is starting again...
(posted from my phone)
Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.3.1
June 30, 2010
praise vomit
When you're on facebook (or anywhere, really), do you ever notice there are some people who, regardless of what they say or do, always get a bunch of comments praising them? There are always a handful of people posting about how great they are.
I am not one of those people who attract praise in abundance.
Nor will I ever be. Nor do I need to be.
This was a full thought, but now it's gone.
(This is what happens when a person blogs with an awful headache.)
I am not one of those people who attract praise in abundance.
Nor will I ever be. Nor do I need to be.
This was a full thought, but now it's gone.
(This is what happens when a person blogs with an awful headache.)
June 09, 2010
Home Away from Home
I had this blog really well written in my head a few hours ago. I just didn't have a computer in front of me. I could have used my phone, but I worried it wouldn't flow properly. I could have written it down in a notebook, but I worried that I might decide against re-writing it.
And now the tone and the feeling I felt made this a promising blog is gone. It will probably return, but now I am just too caught up in feeling exhausted.
It was in Kagoshima almost 6 years ago that I helped my host sister with her English homework, met an ALT, loved Kagoshima, and put those all together to figure out something I really wanted to do.
It was almost 5 years ago that Aya, who later became my Japanese little sister, came from Kagoshima and stayed at my house for about two weeks. I met other people who were traveling with her and we had a lot of fun together.
It was almost 4 years ago that I traveled around Japan alone and visited Kagoshima for a second time. I started to learn the local culture and area just a little more.
It was almost 3 years ago that Aya came back to stay with my family for a year while she went to school. I became interested in Kagoshima's dialect.
It was almost 2 years ago that I moved to Kagoshima. It became the place where I had both hard times and rewarding experiences.
It was almost 1 year ago that I was leaving Kagoshima to visit my family in California. I imagined what it would be like if I were leaving Kagoshima for good and it kind of broke my heart.
A little over a month ago, I traveled up to Tokyo by bus. I looked at the area around me and saw that the rest of Japan looks a little different from Kagoshima. It kind of made me want to just turn around and go back.
In a little more than a month, I will be leaving Kagoshima. Maybe for good. It's not that I would avoid coming back, I just don't know when or how it could possibly happen.
While I have only lived in Kagoshima technically for two years and spent about 3-4 weeks total in this prefecture before that, Kagoshima was definitely home to me long before I ever lived here.
As of yesterday I have a place to live for when I move back to California. It's in an area that I've always kind of dreamed of living in. This area IS home. I lived about 20 minutes from where the room I will be renting is most of my life. I know I am going to love being back in the familiar climate and able to see and talk to people in my family whenever I want. I will be living just a few blocks from the ocean and I will be studying a subject matter that I really want to learn about. I quite honestly couldn't be more excited.
But I am also kind of sad.
I'm experiencing much of the same thing I experienced two years ago as I prepared to move to Japan. Living in Japan was a dream of mine and I knew it would be great, but moving here meant leaving where I was and everything good about it.
I'm starting to feel myself get upset more easily like I was two years ago. I feel myself holding onto moments more trying to imprint things into my memory.
My life is wonderful here. Yes, I have troubles now and then, but I really couldn't ask for anything better. However, lucky for me, I have another great situation waiting for me. Chances are, yet another really great chance/opportunity will come up and I will have to experience this again.
It's not a bad thing to be sad to leave somewhere. It means that the place was worthwhile and that it made a positive difference to you. It's an even greater thing to sadly leave somewhere great for somewhere else great. I'm extremely excited, but also quite sad. I know I'll end up crying a lot in the near future.
But I am fortunate to feel this way.
And now the tone and the feeling I felt made this a promising blog is gone. It will probably return, but now I am just too caught up in feeling exhausted.
It was in Kagoshima almost 6 years ago that I helped my host sister with her English homework, met an ALT, loved Kagoshima, and put those all together to figure out something I really wanted to do.
It was almost 5 years ago that Aya, who later became my Japanese little sister, came from Kagoshima and stayed at my house for about two weeks. I met other people who were traveling with her and we had a lot of fun together.
It was almost 4 years ago that I traveled around Japan alone and visited Kagoshima for a second time. I started to learn the local culture and area just a little more.
It was almost 3 years ago that Aya came back to stay with my family for a year while she went to school. I became interested in Kagoshima's dialect.
It was almost 2 years ago that I moved to Kagoshima. It became the place where I had both hard times and rewarding experiences.
It was almost 1 year ago that I was leaving Kagoshima to visit my family in California. I imagined what it would be like if I were leaving Kagoshima for good and it kind of broke my heart.
A little over a month ago, I traveled up to Tokyo by bus. I looked at the area around me and saw that the rest of Japan looks a little different from Kagoshima. It kind of made me want to just turn around and go back.
In a little more than a month, I will be leaving Kagoshima. Maybe for good. It's not that I would avoid coming back, I just don't know when or how it could possibly happen.
While I have only lived in Kagoshima technically for two years and spent about 3-4 weeks total in this prefecture before that, Kagoshima was definitely home to me long before I ever lived here.
As of yesterday I have a place to live for when I move back to California. It's in an area that I've always kind of dreamed of living in. This area IS home. I lived about 20 minutes from where the room I will be renting is most of my life. I know I am going to love being back in the familiar climate and able to see and talk to people in my family whenever I want. I will be living just a few blocks from the ocean and I will be studying a subject matter that I really want to learn about. I quite honestly couldn't be more excited.
But I am also kind of sad.
I'm experiencing much of the same thing I experienced two years ago as I prepared to move to Japan. Living in Japan was a dream of mine and I knew it would be great, but moving here meant leaving where I was and everything good about it.
I'm starting to feel myself get upset more easily like I was two years ago. I feel myself holding onto moments more trying to imprint things into my memory.
My life is wonderful here. Yes, I have troubles now and then, but I really couldn't ask for anything better. However, lucky for me, I have another great situation waiting for me. Chances are, yet another really great chance/opportunity will come up and I will have to experience this again.
It's not a bad thing to be sad to leave somewhere. It means that the place was worthwhile and that it made a positive difference to you. It's an even greater thing to sadly leave somewhere great for somewhere else great. I'm extremely excited, but also quite sad. I know I'll end up crying a lot in the near future.
But I am fortunate to feel this way.
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