Ick

So I felt pretty icky health-wise today. I woke up feeling just fine except for a sore throat (but that bothered me yesterday, too.) I went exercising with my mom and then had a relatively bigger breakfast.

Only to end up throwing it up again.

Yeah, I know, people don't really appreciate hearing these things.

I remember a long time ago writing a blog on Livejournal about having been stuck in an awkward conversation in which I felt like I had to tell someone about having lost what I had eaten. I remember asking my current commenters if they can think of... how did I word it??? Oh! I asked if they could think of "a socially acceptable way to say you threw up." It's not a quote- it just sounds familiar. I got some humorous answers, but yeah, I'm pretty sure there aren't any.

Back on the topic---

At first I thought that I was just nervous about my presentation I had to do today, but it felt so different than my stress stomach aches. Stress stomach aches are uncomfortable, but I don't feel like I'm actually going to throw up. Much of today, I didn't exactly have pain, but I just sort of felt like I was going to throw up anyway.

Again, I don't know why anyone who happens to read this needs to know that.

Also, My throat felt worse and my face felt unbearably hot.

Anyway, I did my presentation anyway and I didn't it went pretty okay despite the fact I felt pretty much at my worst of the day at the time. It was right after I lost my breakfast and I hadn't gathered the nerve to try to eat anything else yet.

I don't really get sick very often, so I wonder if it's stress. April is in just a matter of days, after all. In just a matter of days (thereabouts) I'm going to finally hear the JET outcome.

It's kind of crazy to think the idea that something I wanted to achieve for so long could've been ruined by some silly mistake I made in just a few minutes during the interview.

I've wanted so long to become the kind of person they would want to hire. I can't help it- it just kills (dramatic wording) me to think that I could possibly be less than I need to be for something I want to achieve.

It's scary to think about.

I'm being negative and thinking of things that might not even apply to the situation.

However---

People have still been showing so much confidence in me. The last thing I want in the world is to prove to them that they're wrong. I know, dramatic wording again- but I'm pretty sure it's true this time.

I don't feel like I'm writing very well at the moment. I think I'm sleepy. Not to mention that my mind gets a little fuzzy when I'm not feeling well. Hard to focus.

G'niiight.