When you're on facebook (or anywhere, really), do you ever notice there are some people who, regardless of what they say or do, always get a bunch of comments praising them? There are always a handful of people posting about how great they are.
I am not one of those people who attract praise in abundance.
Nor will I ever be. Nor do I need to be.
This was a full thought, but now it's gone.
(This is what happens when a person blogs with an awful headache.)
June 30, 2010
June 09, 2010
Home Away from Home
I had this blog really well written in my head a few hours ago. I just didn't have a computer in front of me. I could have used my phone, but I worried it wouldn't flow properly. I could have written it down in a notebook, but I worried that I might decide against re-writing it.
And now the tone and the feeling I felt made this a promising blog is gone. It will probably return, but now I am just too caught up in feeling exhausted.
It was in Kagoshima almost 6 years ago that I helped my host sister with her English homework, met an ALT, loved Kagoshima, and put those all together to figure out something I really wanted to do.
It was almost 5 years ago that Aya, who later became my Japanese little sister, came from Kagoshima and stayed at my house for about two weeks. I met other people who were traveling with her and we had a lot of fun together.
It was almost 4 years ago that I traveled around Japan alone and visited Kagoshima for a second time. I started to learn the local culture and area just a little more.
It was almost 3 years ago that Aya came back to stay with my family for a year while she went to school. I became interested in Kagoshima's dialect.
It was almost 2 years ago that I moved to Kagoshima. It became the place where I had both hard times and rewarding experiences.
It was almost 1 year ago that I was leaving Kagoshima to visit my family in California. I imagined what it would be like if I were leaving Kagoshima for good and it kind of broke my heart.
A little over a month ago, I traveled up to Tokyo by bus. I looked at the area around me and saw that the rest of Japan looks a little different from Kagoshima. It kind of made me want to just turn around and go back.
In a little more than a month, I will be leaving Kagoshima. Maybe for good. It's not that I would avoid coming back, I just don't know when or how it could possibly happen.
While I have only lived in Kagoshima technically for two years and spent about 3-4 weeks total in this prefecture before that, Kagoshima was definitely home to me long before I ever lived here.
As of yesterday I have a place to live for when I move back to California. It's in an area that I've always kind of dreamed of living in. This area IS home. I lived about 20 minutes from where the room I will be renting is most of my life. I know I am going to love being back in the familiar climate and able to see and talk to people in my family whenever I want. I will be living just a few blocks from the ocean and I will be studying a subject matter that I really want to learn about. I quite honestly couldn't be more excited.
But I am also kind of sad.
I'm experiencing much of the same thing I experienced two years ago as I prepared to move to Japan. Living in Japan was a dream of mine and I knew it would be great, but moving here meant leaving where I was and everything good about it.
I'm starting to feel myself get upset more easily like I was two years ago. I feel myself holding onto moments more trying to imprint things into my memory.
My life is wonderful here. Yes, I have troubles now and then, but I really couldn't ask for anything better. However, lucky for me, I have another great situation waiting for me. Chances are, yet another really great chance/opportunity will come up and I will have to experience this again.
It's not a bad thing to be sad to leave somewhere. It means that the place was worthwhile and that it made a positive difference to you. It's an even greater thing to sadly leave somewhere great for somewhere else great. I'm extremely excited, but also quite sad. I know I'll end up crying a lot in the near future.
But I am fortunate to feel this way.
And now the tone and the feeling I felt made this a promising blog is gone. It will probably return, but now I am just too caught up in feeling exhausted.
It was in Kagoshima almost 6 years ago that I helped my host sister with her English homework, met an ALT, loved Kagoshima, and put those all together to figure out something I really wanted to do.
It was almost 5 years ago that Aya, who later became my Japanese little sister, came from Kagoshima and stayed at my house for about two weeks. I met other people who were traveling with her and we had a lot of fun together.
It was almost 4 years ago that I traveled around Japan alone and visited Kagoshima for a second time. I started to learn the local culture and area just a little more.
It was almost 3 years ago that Aya came back to stay with my family for a year while she went to school. I became interested in Kagoshima's dialect.
It was almost 2 years ago that I moved to Kagoshima. It became the place where I had both hard times and rewarding experiences.
It was almost 1 year ago that I was leaving Kagoshima to visit my family in California. I imagined what it would be like if I were leaving Kagoshima for good and it kind of broke my heart.
A little over a month ago, I traveled up to Tokyo by bus. I looked at the area around me and saw that the rest of Japan looks a little different from Kagoshima. It kind of made me want to just turn around and go back.
In a little more than a month, I will be leaving Kagoshima. Maybe for good. It's not that I would avoid coming back, I just don't know when or how it could possibly happen.
While I have only lived in Kagoshima technically for two years and spent about 3-4 weeks total in this prefecture before that, Kagoshima was definitely home to me long before I ever lived here.
As of yesterday I have a place to live for when I move back to California. It's in an area that I've always kind of dreamed of living in. This area IS home. I lived about 20 minutes from where the room I will be renting is most of my life. I know I am going to love being back in the familiar climate and able to see and talk to people in my family whenever I want. I will be living just a few blocks from the ocean and I will be studying a subject matter that I really want to learn about. I quite honestly couldn't be more excited.
But I am also kind of sad.
I'm experiencing much of the same thing I experienced two years ago as I prepared to move to Japan. Living in Japan was a dream of mine and I knew it would be great, but moving here meant leaving where I was and everything good about it.
I'm starting to feel myself get upset more easily like I was two years ago. I feel myself holding onto moments more trying to imprint things into my memory.
My life is wonderful here. Yes, I have troubles now and then, but I really couldn't ask for anything better. However, lucky for me, I have another great situation waiting for me. Chances are, yet another really great chance/opportunity will come up and I will have to experience this again.
It's not a bad thing to be sad to leave somewhere. It means that the place was worthwhile and that it made a positive difference to you. It's an even greater thing to sadly leave somewhere great for somewhere else great. I'm extremely excited, but also quite sad. I know I'll end up crying a lot in the near future.
But I am fortunate to feel this way.
May 23, 2010
Getting ready to go home
I just wanted to blog. Give me a moment to form my thoughts together and figure out what to write about.
Well, it's May. About two months from now I will be arriving back in the US to restart live there. I am bound to enter a world of no money, no time, and lots of stress. At the same time, I will be doing something that will motivate and challenge me.
Today's one of those days that I can honestly tell myself that I am excited to leave here.
Admittedly, I had a few rough days last week in which I found myself underestimated and judged based on the fact I am not Japanese and I can't claim that doesn't happen sometimes. In the US I can be identified for who I actually am and I can work towards showing people who underestimate me just how wrong they are.
Today I talked to my supervisor and he is going to work out selling by car with the person I bought the car from. I also scheduled with him to discuss my plane ticket back to the US on Thursday (so I'll have an actual date soon.)
I know when the time comes, I'll probably be really sad to leave, but today I just feel excited.
Meanwhile, the weather has become very humid and rainy. It's already getting pretty warm and it shouldn't be too long before it gets to be hot. The reminder of how hot and humid summers are here makes me kind of glad I am not going to be enduring this one all the way through.
I need to start mailing some of my stuff back to the US. I need to get rid of things that I don't want/need. I need to start cleaning my place for the next ALT who will live there. I need to figure out where I will live back in California.
Two. more. months. :)
And in the meantime, this place isn't half bad.
Well, it's May. About two months from now I will be arriving back in the US to restart live there. I am bound to enter a world of no money, no time, and lots of stress. At the same time, I will be doing something that will motivate and challenge me.
Today's one of those days that I can honestly tell myself that I am excited to leave here.
Admittedly, I had a few rough days last week in which I found myself underestimated and judged based on the fact I am not Japanese and I can't claim that doesn't happen sometimes. In the US I can be identified for who I actually am and I can work towards showing people who underestimate me just how wrong they are.
Today I talked to my supervisor and he is going to work out selling by car with the person I bought the car from. I also scheduled with him to discuss my plane ticket back to the US on Thursday (so I'll have an actual date soon.)
I know when the time comes, I'll probably be really sad to leave, but today I just feel excited.
Meanwhile, the weather has become very humid and rainy. It's already getting pretty warm and it shouldn't be too long before it gets to be hot. The reminder of how hot and humid summers are here makes me kind of glad I am not going to be enduring this one all the way through.
I need to start mailing some of my stuff back to the US. I need to get rid of things that I don't want/need. I need to start cleaning my place for the next ALT who will live there. I need to figure out where I will live back in California.
Two. more. months. :)
And in the meantime, this place isn't half bad.
May 16, 2010
Note to Japan
You're a great country and I really like you, but there's something you really need to understand. Not every Japanese person thinks this way, but there are enough that do to make things really annoying for a foreigner taking residence in your country.
You are a very unique country, Japan, as should be expected from a country that was isolated from the rest of the world for so long. Your language is very difficult to learn and many foreigners have a hard time adapting to your customs.
But, contrary to what some might believe, it IS possible for a foreigner to learn your language and understand your customs. I know that perhaps at some point in their education, many of your people decide that English is impossible for them and they conclude that it would be impossible for them to function in cultures other than their own. They come to believe that Japan is so completely different from other countries that understanding is impossible.
However, they're wrong.
Japan, you are not that unique. You are NOT that special. You just a country! Your people are human just as any one else on this planet. We can learn to understand each other. Your people have created unnecessary barriers that are both restrictive to themselves and annoying for the foreigners that end up having to try to deal with them.
Even in some English lessons, the content is laced with a certain feeling of impossibility and sometimes the English teachers do nothing but make it even more so.
Oh, and for the record, we have technology such as washing machines and computers in other countries.
So next time I am given unasked for, painfully obvious advice about technology, I will not be held responsible for screaming at the person who provides it in my native tongue.
OK, so the last sentence hopefully isn't true... ^^;
You are a very unique country, Japan, as should be expected from a country that was isolated from the rest of the world for so long. Your language is very difficult to learn and many foreigners have a hard time adapting to your customs.
But, contrary to what some might believe, it IS possible for a foreigner to learn your language and understand your customs. I know that perhaps at some point in their education, many of your people decide that English is impossible for them and they conclude that it would be impossible for them to function in cultures other than their own. They come to believe that Japan is so completely different from other countries that understanding is impossible.
However, they're wrong.
Japan, you are not that unique. You are NOT that special. You just a country! Your people are human just as any one else on this planet. We can learn to understand each other. Your people have created unnecessary barriers that are both restrictive to themselves and annoying for the foreigners that end up having to try to deal with them.
Even in some English lessons, the content is laced with a certain feeling of impossibility and sometimes the English teachers do nothing but make it even more so.
Oh, and for the record, we have technology such as washing machines and computers in other countries.
So next time I am given unasked for, painfully obvious advice about technology, I will not be held responsible for screaming at the person who provides it in my native tongue.
OK, so the last sentence hopefully isn't true... ^^;
Blog
I keep writing entries in my head that don't quite make it here. Even if I write them, I'm never quite happy enough with the outcome.
*sigh*
Oh, and I had a concussion for about a week. I think it's better now, though.
*sigh*
Oh, and I had a concussion for about a week. I think it's better now, though.
May 06, 2010
Time's Up!
Or rather it's been up for a while now...
I vaguely recall some indeterminable time ago dropping by this blog and seeing that there was about 6 more days left in the countdown I had off to the side. I made mental note of that, which apparently failed until today.
(I just checked my calendar, however, and noticed that I am only almost two weeks late. *pats self on back*)
A year has passed since I wrote this post and now it's time to share our results!
Now, for me, hearing odd things and getting asked strange questions is far from out of the ordinary. I live in a foreign country and I am always around people who know very little about where I come from. On top of that, I always get questions from people who don't know much about Japan. I've become so immune to this that I almost forget to think anything of it.
So... here's what I got-
1) How is the weather in America? (I actually get asked this one a lot. I'm often tempted to put out a map of the US and start rambling about the weather in different regions.)
2) Are there any clowns in Japan?
3) Do you know where the Pokemon building is?
4) Do you even know how hard it is to get cheese from a dead cow? (asked by Akemi)
5) (I'm out of time, I'll fill this in later)
Comment with yours!!!
I vaguely recall some indeterminable time ago dropping by this blog and seeing that there was about 6 more days left in the countdown I had off to the side. I made mental note of that, which apparently failed until today.
(I just checked my calendar, however, and noticed that I am only almost two weeks late. *pats self on back*)
A year has passed since I wrote this post and now it's time to share our results!
Now, for me, hearing odd things and getting asked strange questions is far from out of the ordinary. I live in a foreign country and I am always around people who know very little about where I come from. On top of that, I always get questions from people who don't know much about Japan. I've become so immune to this that I almost forget to think anything of it.
So... here's what I got-
1) How is the weather in America? (I actually get asked this one a lot. I'm often tempted to put out a map of the US and start rambling about the weather in different regions.)
2) Are there any clowns in Japan?
3) Do you know where the Pokemon building is?
4) Do you even know how hard it is to get cheese from a dead cow? (asked by Akemi)
5) (I'm out of time, I'll fill this in later)
Comment with yours!!!
March 18, 2010
the present
I was going though my old myspace blogs again. I found quite a few that I enjoyed reading. I used to have so much fun blogging and they were so witty (sometimes) and fun to read. I wish I could bring that feeling back.
My wit and randomness has mostly found a home on my twitter account. Actually day to day things aren't really recorded anyone except in chats and emails. It's a shame, though.
Yesterday, I tweeted-
"So I just realized that my tweets are really weird without the context of... umm... the REST of my life. Oh well, you'll live. ;)"
and someone I don't know personally who has been following my replied-
"@Juuleeya Understandable or not, your tweets are entertaining. And that's the point, right?"
It was kind of neat to know that one of the accounts owned by someone I don't know is actually someone who enjoys my tweets and not just some random twitter bot.
I always really like it when other people can appreciate my "mind goo." :D
Anyway, I thought I would link to some of my old blogs that I really liked as I was skimming through this evening-
1) I LOL'd at this SHS drama related dream that I don't even remember having had before.
2) Reading myself wax poetic about curry amused me to no end. (I actually got tired of it after a while living here, but I still really like to eat it someitmes.)
3) I almost passed right over this blog because I don't even like to think about Annie Get Your Gun, but I ended up reading it and really liking what I wrote about it.
4) I just really love the part about the "Certificate of Appreciation."
5) I wish I remembered if I ever found out what this was about. Oh, and I like my lone comment on it. I think it was originally replying to someone.
6) Is it bad that I just realized how out-of-it this blog was this evening? I like the "Perhaps I'll be able to walk on my own soon??" bit.
7) And lastly (but not leastly?), I liked this blog a lot because it's along the same lines that I've been thinking about lately. :)
That was a fun, yet pointless, little blast from past, right?
Soo.... let's blog a little more about the present shall we?
Today in an English class I was co-teaching, there was an activity in the book where one person had to quickly ask the questions and the other person had to answer as quickly as possible. The teacher and I demonstrated with each other. We had to say "yes, I did" to all of the "did you...?" questions for the sake of the next question making sense.
This is how the conversation went when I was answering-
Teacher: What time did you wake up on Sunday?
Me: Noon. (This was true, I was at an open mic night Saturday night and got home at around 2:30. I didn't get to bed until 3:30-ish.)
Teacher: Did you study?
Me: Yes, I did. (Not true)
Teacher: What did you study?
Me: I studied economics. (Well, I have been studying that lately...)
Teacher: Did you play any sports?
Me: Yes, I did. (I most definitely did not.)
Teacher: What did you play?
Me: I played badminton. (went with the sport I like playing the best even if I hardly ever play it.
Teacher: Did you watch TV?
Me: Yes, I did. (...nope)
Teacher: What did you watch?
Me: I watched (at a complete and total loss) the weather.
The weather?? That's all I could think of?
Anyway, I thought that was a fun story.
Krys is still in boot camp now and I've been mailing her letters about once a week. It's funny, sometimes while I'm writing them, I think "wow, I can usually do this whole sit down and write a letter thing..!" but most of the time, I think I'm just blabbing. It seems like the words written in letters are so much more important than emailed words. Especially when email is out of the question right now. I miss chatting with her all of the time... although most of what I talked to her about was entirely pointless.
Anyway, I've been pretty busy these days and I've been enjoying life a lot.
I'm going to be going to Thailand soon. Hurray!
My wit and randomness has mostly found a home on my twitter account. Actually day to day things aren't really recorded anyone except in chats and emails. It's a shame, though.
Yesterday, I tweeted-
"So I just realized that my tweets are really weird without the context of... umm... the REST of my life. Oh well, you'll live. ;)"
and someone I don't know personally who has been following my replied-
"@Juuleeya Understandable or not, your tweets are entertaining. And that's the point, right?"
It was kind of neat to know that one of the accounts owned by someone I don't know is actually someone who enjoys my tweets and not just some random twitter bot.
I always really like it when other people can appreciate my "mind goo." :D
Anyway, I thought I would link to some of my old blogs that I really liked as I was skimming through this evening-
1) I LOL'd at this SHS drama related dream that I don't even remember having had before.
2) Reading myself wax poetic about curry amused me to no end. (I actually got tired of it after a while living here, but I still really like to eat it someitmes.)
3) I almost passed right over this blog because I don't even like to think about Annie Get Your Gun, but I ended up reading it and really liking what I wrote about it.
4) I just really love the part about the "Certificate of Appreciation."
5) I wish I remembered if I ever found out what this was about. Oh, and I like my lone comment on it. I think it was originally replying to someone.
6) Is it bad that I just realized how out-of-it this blog was this evening? I like the "Perhaps I'll be able to walk on my own soon??" bit.
7) And lastly (but not leastly?), I liked this blog a lot because it's along the same lines that I've been thinking about lately. :)
That was a fun, yet pointless, little blast from past, right?
Soo.... let's blog a little more about the present shall we?
Today in an English class I was co-teaching, there was an activity in the book where one person had to quickly ask the questions and the other person had to answer as quickly as possible. The teacher and I demonstrated with each other. We had to say "yes, I did" to all of the "did you...?" questions for the sake of the next question making sense.
This is how the conversation went when I was answering-
Teacher: What time did you wake up on Sunday?
Me: Noon. (This was true, I was at an open mic night Saturday night and got home at around 2:30. I didn't get to bed until 3:30-ish.)
Teacher: Did you study?
Me: Yes, I did. (Not true)
Teacher: What did you study?
Me: I studied economics. (Well, I have been studying that lately...)
Teacher: Did you play any sports?
Me: Yes, I did. (I most definitely did not.)
Teacher: What did you play?
Me: I played badminton. (went with the sport I like playing the best even if I hardly ever play it.
Teacher: Did you watch TV?
Me: Yes, I did. (...nope)
Teacher: What did you watch?
Me: I watched (at a complete and total loss) the weather.
The weather?? That's all I could think of?
Anyway, I thought that was a fun story.
Krys is still in boot camp now and I've been mailing her letters about once a week. It's funny, sometimes while I'm writing them, I think "wow, I can usually do this whole sit down and write a letter thing..!" but most of the time, I think I'm just blabbing. It seems like the words written in letters are so much more important than emailed words. Especially when email is out of the question right now. I miss chatting with her all of the time... although most of what I talked to her about was entirely pointless.
Anyway, I've been pretty busy these days and I've been enjoying life a lot.
I'm going to be going to Thailand soon. Hurray!
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