black things

Remember that blog from last April in which I said that I was finding black things on the ground and that I thought that a rodent had left them?

I concluded that it was not a rodent, but from then on those black things just kept appearing out of nowhere. Sometimes on my bed, sometimes on my kitchen table.

Well, I finally solved that mystery.

I was brushing my hair yesterday when I noticed that my brush was caught on something. After some gentle brushing from the bottom up, something fell into my hand. A black thing.

"It's in my hair, too?" I thought, astonished.

Then I looked at my brush and realized that a parts of my black hairbrush (round things attached to the end of each.... tong?) were falling off.

So that's why they were always appearing all over the place. ><

And that's why I tweeted that I felt like an idiot.

:)

(super glad to know it's not rodent related, though!)

just a little rant

Sometimes it is just so hard for me to be patient with people.

When I started taking Japanese dance, I was mostly in it for a chance to hang out with some of the other ALT girls and make friends with them. As time went on, though, I started to really like Japanese dance itself.

It's so difficult for me to enjoy things that have precise rules and details that have to be followed. Usually if I don't have a little room to make something a little more my own, I don't care for it.

But I like Japanese dance. I like it even though I am told exactly where to put my feet, exactly how high to lift my arms, etc. I am always told to relax my shoulders- which is something that the pilates instructor is always reminding me to do as well. I came to realize how much tension I put into my shoulders a lot of the time and I think these biweekly reminders to relax them are good for me.

But I have some stress associated with the dance classes and it just seems to increase. Being the member of the group that knows the most Japanese, I have become the translator. My status as the go-between has been slowly but surely wearing me out.

As the translator, I am the one that always has to tell the teacher why someone in the group can't make it to a lesson and, even worse, it is me to has to call and cancel lessons.

It's been increasingly hard for me to be cool about it when someone tells me that they can't come to the lesson. I understand it when it's a good reason (like traveling), but sometimes I feel like the reasons that they tell me can easily just be put aside or worked around.

Tomorrow is a rehearsal for the performance we're putting on in a few weeks and I am really hoping they all show up. During that last practice, our teacher seemed to really think it's important for us all to attend this one and I really don't want to let her down. She's been very kind and generous to us. Plus, this is the rehearsal for the whole show- including the elementary school students class and at least one another group. It's not all about us and we should try to do all that we can to not disrupt the entire rehearsal for everyone else. (The culture plays a big part in this, too. Our teacher is a very traditional old Japanese woman.)

One of the girls in the class actually lashed out at me because she had plans for the day of tomorrow's rehearsal and she said that I should have told her before. This was completely inappropriate because-

A) I told her via facebook chat that I would message her the rehearsal schedule a few days before when she got back into town, but she told me that there's no big difference between hearing the dates then and waiting a few days and finding out what they are at the lesson. So, because she said that, I didn't send them to her.

B1) I played no part whatsoever in the scheduling of said rehearsal. I was JUST translating.
B2) I don't have a copy of her social schedule. I'm sorry that it clashed with the rehearsal schedule, but it's really not my fault at all.

*****sigh*****

I understand that she could have just been irritable and took it out on me. I understand- people do that sometimes. And she apologized later (although she didn't mention whether she remembered TELLING me to not worry about messaging her or not, so I'm a little irked about that.)

What's driving me crazy is being blamed for what I was just translating on top of all of the practices I've had to go to without everyone else there.

And I know it's not always their fault. We had someone with swine flu, people traveling, etc. etc. etc. It's just that this has really made me so tired of being the person in between.

I just want to enjoy dancing and relish the fact that I finally get to perform something again for the first time since graduating high school.

It's so hard to be patient with people sometimes.

Dance class girls- sorry you guys end up reading this. I kind of felt the need to get this out somewhere.

Mornings

When I set my alarm clocks at night, I choose a song on my iPod to wake up to in the morning very carefully. Sometimes I go for something calm sound so that I am not too surprised when it wakes me and sometimes I choose a song that I think will energize me.

But it's always just noise at 7 am.

I know for a fact I haven't been getting enough sleep.

I pick up my cell phone from the table next to my bed and I check my email and twitter. Yes, I know that I can easily do it on the computer if I just get up- but for a while this worked to help me try to wake up.

This morning, however, I just got disoriented and kept reading the same tweets over and over.

At some point, my cell phone alarm set for 7:05 goes off.

Whether I can get up immediately depends on how cold it is. My main concern is that where I am is warm and outside of that is NOT. All that's in my world at those moments is my bed and the ridiculously high pile of blankets that I feel that I need to have.

But I resolve to get myself to get up.

So I quietly countdown...

"5... 4... 3... 2... 1...."

...and I get up about 15 seconds later.

And then what's usually the worst part of my day is officially over with.

Weekly schedules and keeping busy

I think the most interesting aspect of my life these days is my busy schedule. This is probably also the reason why I haven't been blogging so much.

Here's what I do each day of the week-

Mondays- Work, Japanese dance class
Tuesdays- Work, Japanese lesson, gym (a stretching class that involves big bouncy balls)
Wednesdays- Work, Japanese flute (formal lessons started just recently)
Thursday- Work, gym (pilates class)
Friday- Free after work! (usually)

I'm enjoying all of the things that I'm involved with and I love to be busy, but I've been so tired a lot of the time lately.

I've also been working on getting funds for grad school and other preparations for moving back to the US. I signed and turned in the paper saying that I will NOT be re-contracting here in Hioki for another year and it's official.

This should be a very interesting six months.

Oh well

This blog has gotten pretty heavy compared to how it used to be.

So, I was thinking that I would do something lighthearted here for the first time in a long while and post a photo blog.

But then I uploaded all of the pictures to facebook and realized that the pictures were posted and their stories were told- I didn't really care to write it in blog form anymore.

So in case you live in a cave (I mean, don't have facebook), here is the album that contains the pictures I was going to use here and mooooore.

I still intend to start writing some more fun blogs, but in the meantime you can enjoy my new template. :)

on line

Today I learned that I was accepted to grad school.

At first I thought I would be quiet about the acceptance- just in case I decide that I would rather stay in JET for another year. Instead I found myself on just about every internet site posting about it and even telling my classes.

I am psyched, I am disappointed, I am full of anxiety, I am overwhelmed and I'm happy.

I'm up and I'm down.

Not to mention feeling dizzy.

I'm... uhhh... trying to write a blog in this state of mind.

I feel like this came way too simply. Things that are too simple never quite sit right with me. I always expect things that are worth it to have more difficulties than that. I try to satisfy this feeling by telling myself that all I have been doing have been steps to this, but I guess after the huge, stressful leap that was JET, a nice gradual, natural step up is going to feel foreign to me.

My mind is just about everywhere now, but I am not going to try to cover everything now. I have the feeling that this will be the subject of many blogs to come.

Oh! I just realized this is my first blog of the decade! Happy New Year!